Riddle me this. Why is it, that everyone has an opinion on pregnant women’s bellies? It’s like they are public property or something. As soon as you announce pregnancy, or people rudely assume it (sometimes incorrectly thanks very much), all of a sudden you’re fair game for comments, judgement and the occasional compliment. All I seem to be hearing at the moment is how the heat must be awful for me because clearly I’m so huge and therefore must be very uncomfortable, how I must be crazy to go back for a fourth baby (apparently I’m the first in history or something?) and the question of how long I have to go, because apparently I’m “huge”.
Huge compared to what, please tell me? Huge compared to the other 10 people you know who are the same build as me, at the same stage of their fourth pregnancy, were the same weight before pregnancy, and have the same lifestyle as me?
No, I didn’t think so.
Huge compared to your sister who is a size 10 with her second baby who sports a tidy bump and still manages three sessions of crossfit a week? Good for her! All power to her! I’m not her!
Huge compared to how you remember you were with your pregnancies? Because I can tell you for a fact, that you never really remember correctly.
Seriously! I don’t need the constant reminder that I look like I’m nearly full-term, even though I’m “only” 26 weeks. I got asked at 18 weeks how long I had to go for goodness sake. I informed the person asking that I was still counting up the weeks, not counting them down. I actually think that was the first comment of “wow you’re huge” I got for this pregnancy.
And quite frankly I don’t need to hear it. And you know why? Because I know I’m not a small person, and I’m okay with that. I go to fit mums three times a week to work out, and boy do I work hard there. Yes I like yummy food and probably too much of it, but I try to be careful with what I eat most of the time, so I can have the energy to run after my little brood.
Dear well-meaning person, I don’t need your comments. Yes I’ve probably put on more weight than other people by this stage, but I’m feeling really good about myself at the moment. Don’t defend your “well-intentioned” comments, dumping them at my feet only to walk away.
Here’s some things that you can say:
- Wow you are positively glowing!
- Your arms are looking really toned and tanned. Have you been working out?
- You must be so excited about another baby
- I’m really happy for you – you must love being a mum (I paraphrased, but thanks Nan.)
Here are some things I don’t need to hear:
- You must be crazy going back for another one!
- You are going to be so exhausted when the new baby arrives
- You’re not having any more after this one, right?
- Haven’t you worked out how babies are made yet?
- Wow you’re huge!
You can keep those thoughts to yourself, or feel free to talk about me behind my back when I leave. I really don’t mind. Just seriously, stop telling me how huge I am. I know it and I don’t mind a bit.
All this fabulousness does not come easy you know.