It started not long after Quindy was born. Chanbe was quite put out but the new human being taking so much of his Mama and Dadda’s time, and he let those feelings be known. Frequently. I shed tears over his behaviour towards his little sister. I wondered where my gentle little boy had gone. I couldn’t leave them in the same room together, and whenever he was around her, I was on edge.
I would be so jealous when other mums gushed over how their older child was so kind and gentle with their new baby. I wondered why he was acting this way and how I could possibly make it stop.
The answer? Understanding. Patience. Gentle teaching. Time.
The combination of these things has resulted in Chanbe growing into a very loving and caring big brother. Oh how I have waited for this moment.
They play together so beautifully now. Most of the time. They still have their disagreements, but it’s more that Quindy is sticking up for herself and Chanbe will come and tell me if she’s doing something to him he doesn’t like. It takes a lot of self control for me not to say something along the lines of “buddy, you had it coming”, instead I take the approach of “if Quindy is doing something you don’t like, you need to ask her to stop” just as I have been teaching Quindy that for months. She can now say “No” to Chanbe if he starts getting a bit over enthusiastic.
A few times, the kids have wondered upstairs together, and after a little while and a lot of silence, I’ll go and check on them. I’ve found them a couple of times like this:
This “milestone” for want of a better word is all the more sweet, having had to work very hard and wait a long time for it. It has certainly made life easier and more harmonious around here.