Life has been weird lately. I’ve been getting cranky for no reason, been in crazy moods (up and down) and getting frustrated over things that shouldn’t be consuming so much of my energy.
But yesterday, I had a bit of a breakthrough. 3, in fact.
1. Chanbe’s toilet training has been hard work. I never thought I’d have a 2.5+ year old in nappies. Not that I thought there was anything wrong with that, I had just decided that he would be toilet trained by 2. Because that would be convenient. For me. But he just wasn’t interested. And I know I know – the more I push it, the more frustrated everyone gets. So I’ve been really trying to just let it progress at his pace. And finally, we are having breakthroughs.
What I know to be true: Chanbe will not be wearing nappies forever.
2. My running has been going pretty well, but yesterday I pushed myself and actually ran for probably half of my 4.4km run at different intervals. It felt amazing to actually be covering some serious ground at a good pace. I felt like I was running, not just shuffling along.
What I know to be true: I will be running the Townsville fun run and Bridge to Brisbane and it will feel amazing when I push myself to run as fast as I can across that damn finish line!!
3. Lately I’ve been having a self-diagnosed existential crisis. Ever had one? Yes? How much does it suck?? No?? It sucks. A lot. I’ve been trying to work through it on my own and with Hubs, and after going on strike last week, not doing any housework (because what’s the point?) I decided to get some help. I had an amazing appointment yesterday with the counsellor I’ve been seeing this year (she really helped me earlier in the year when we had so much adjusting to do) and I left feeling a certain clarity that I haven’t felt in a long time.
What I know to be true: I’ve been functioning at an insanely stressful level these past few months (18 months??) and finally life is a bit more stable and predictable. And that’s okay. I need to breathe, enjoy it, and slow the hell down.
Life is good. Our kids are amazing. Hubs is beautiful. Holidays are a-coming. I choose to enjoy it.
Yes it really is one of those parenting things that has to be done in their own time!! He’s slowly getting the hang of it!
I can’t tell you how much counselling has helped me out in the last 18 months. I was seeing someone in Wang as well, and I have been lucky to have been assigned counsellors that I feel really comfortable with and they have helped me figure things out mostly on my own which is great for the future. If you can find someone good, they are absolutely worth the time you invest. Good luck!
It’s often once the craziness has ended that the real stress of the situation comes through.
I struggled with toilet training my first too. One of the big selling points for using cloth nappies is that, apparently, they are meant to toilet train faster. Every time I had to wash poop out of a nappy, I’d just think ‘early toilet training. early toilet training’. Will was coming on 3 before he really got it. It really got me down and stressed me out, until I just decided to ignore every piece of advice I’d ever been given about how to toilet train, and go with what I felt like doing. I haven’t even started thinking about training Guy yet, though he’s just turned 2, and isn’t speaking much.
Thanks for mentioning counselling.It’s something I’d considered a while ago, but had kind of forgotten about. It’s been an incredible year (two interstate moves, husband away for 6 out of 12 months, etc) , and particularly being alone in this massive state, I’d love to have someone to chat to- I’m starting to feel a bit lonely (though frantically searching for my new best friend!).
You’ll get through this- you are pretty awesome.