…you never fail to disappoint.

Now don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a Hogs-bash. Quite the contrary. It’s almost impressive how, no matter which Hogs Breath I go to, and I’ve probably been to only a few, and no matter how many times I’ve been, maybe only a dozen in my whole life, the food is always the same lacklustre quality.

They do not know how to cook a good steak. They don’t even know how to cut a good piece to cook! They pretty much always overcook their steaks, which I think was demonstrated by the language used by the 10 of us ordering tonight:

“I’ll have it as rare as I can.” The steaks still came out close to well done. Seriously. All of them. Hubs’ had the tiniest tinge of pink if you squinted, as did mine (I ordered mine medium).

And can I just say those curly fries aren’t all that? You can buy them in the frozen section at Woollies and cook them yourself. I didn’t even get them – I saw sweet potato wedges and was all over that goodness. They were the best thing on my plate by far. And I can probably buy those exact ones at Woollies too.

Look I’m honestly not complaining. My expectations were met. Those expectations just happened to be very very low, but hey! I wasn’t disappointed. Just underwhelmed.

And we still had a wonderful night as we were with good friends who had organised a night out, and I didn’t have to cook or clean up.

The only thing that did leave a bit of a bad taste in my mouth was that it cost $80 for two mediocre steaks and a drink each. I don’t want to brag, but Dad brought up some super thick rib fillet steaks last time that Hubs cooked/smoked on the BBQ and I tell you what they were some of the best we’ve ever had.

So thank you Hogs Breath for remaining underwhelming and for helping us appreciate what we have at home.