Author: Renae

Living life as a wife, a stay at home mama of 3 kids under 5, a marriage celebrant, a craft and sewing amateur, a cooked breakfast lover, coffee enthusiast, extroverted socialite, and most recently, someone who is trying to keep a tidy house. It's tough I tell you!

Aaaaah marriage

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What an interesting beast. Two people meet, they lust after one another, they fall in love, they can’t imagine ever being angered or pissed off by this person, they get married and WHAM! Reality hits. And it bites.

Now obviously this scenario isn’t true for all couples. Obviously some couples piss each other off much earlier than that.

When Hubs and I got together I remember (and now cringe) genuinely looking at my friends who had been in long term relationships and who were now in that comfortable stage and thinking “I’m so glad we are different.” (Sorry guys!) But here’s the kicker. We’re not. Hubs pisses me off all the time and, I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m no picnic to live with either.

And I totally get why marriages don’t last. (Freudian slip there – I actually typed “laugh” instead of last! Oh boy…) Marriage is haaaaaaaaaard work and unless you are both 100% committed, you’ve got no chance. It’s impossible for both parties to be 100% committed all the time, at the same time as well so I guess there’s just always got to be some desire and commitment to stay together.

And it’s the little things isn’t it? The day to day stuff that, if you don’t accept, will drive you out the door.

Take right now for instance. There is something that Hubs is doing right now that should have already been done but he didn’t want to do earlier and now there is a deadline (9am tomorrow) that is has to be done by. But pointing this out to him adds absolutely no value to our marriage. He knows it. I know it. To say anything would be petty and piss him off. So instead, I’ve done all my evening jobs, poured him an ice cold cider (it’s a laboring job he’s doing for our ensuite) and am drowning out the noise of the compact drill with the sound of satisfaction for taking the high road. And Adele.

It’s something I’m working on – not pointing out his flaws. I used to do it a lot, thinking I was being helpful by suggesting ways he could be more organised or be more tidy. And it’s something he’s never really done to me. I’m hopelessly flawed but he doesn’t try to fix me. He delights in my quirks because they make me who I am.

So in the grand scheme of things, tonight’s quirk matters not. What matters is how we deal with it. And the best way? Every time? Hands down?

Is with kindness. Good old fashioned, sometimes over the top kindness. On that note I might go and see if he needs another cider.

It’s not over yet

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I believe we are feeling the after effects of cyclone Debbie and boy is it crazy. I mean it’s not Marcia crazy, but being in our own house makes it a bit more nerve wracking. I’m just grateful for our new roof and windows! This is what we are currently experiencing.

Again, I’m very grateful that we didn’t cop the brunt of it (poor Airlie Beach!) but this rain is relentless! It’s been pretty much pouring on and off since Monday with more on the way tomorrow.

And don’t even get me started on the mozzies. Ugh. When it clears up on Friday we’ll know about it! In the mean time I promise I will try to enjoy the sound of the rain on our roof as I go to sleep, be thankful for the lush green grass, and try not to curse too much when it pours at school pick up time.

Do you have a clown?

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I know I say it all the time but Darby is such a clown. It’s all about the laughs. If he gets them, he wants more, and Chance and Quinn are only too happy to oblige!

Actually those two photos were just him doing his thing today and hanging out, though he had me in stitches. He has taken to putting his pj pants on his head for story time because it has the other two in hysterics. I wonder what his next antics will be…

Sliding doors

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I mused to Hubs the other day that our life provides many “Sliding Doors“* moments where our decisions can, and do, completely alter the direction and immediate outcomes of our lives. Most people’s sliding doors moments come from external sources; new neighbours, new people at work; new schools to attend; and these things generally won’t impact on their whole lives, just an aspect.

I’m referring mainly to our moving from place to place so often.  When we move, we move. Since Hubs and I were married, we have lived in the following places, in order:

Brisbane
Melbourne
Wangaratta
Mount Beauty
Back to Wangaratta
Townsville
Ingham
Mount Isa
Rockhampton

I look back at the friendships we have formed over the years, due to our moving around so much, and it makes me ponder over two things in particular. Firstly I can’t imagine our lives without the people we met and befriended in all the above places. I just can’t. We still holiday together; we keep in touch by phone and letter and email and fb; they are the Godparents for our children; they were there in the early years of our marriage, and when we first got pregnant and had our first baby; they were not just our substitute family and friends after leaving everyone behind in Brisbane – they were and are so much more than that and I simply cannot fathom how we could possibly exist without them in our lives.

The second thing I wonder is twofold. Who will we meet next, and who will we never get to meet? There are so many good people out there, and I know that we can’t be friends with everyone, and it really makes me believe that the people we have met along the way are truly meant to be a part of our lives. I sometimes get frustrated with our dodgy old house and how much these renovations are costing us and is it really worth it and maybe we should have bought somewhere else or just rented. But then I think of our neighbours and the impact they have had on our life here and I don’t regret buying this “renovators delight” for a second. We never would have met some of them, and certainly would never have had the relationship we have with them, if they didn’t all live right across the road from us.

Rockhampton really was a random move for us. The job was supposed to be available from August, and being so damn miserable in Mount Isa, I told Hubs we should take it. I honestly wouldn’t have cared where it was (okay, within reason) I just needed to leave the Isa. But then we found out he wouldn’t be able to start until January. It was still a great job opportunity so he still accepted it, but in hindsight, we could have gone to a number of different places. And honestly, it’s been one of the best moves for me in so far as friendships and support networks.

When I was deciding about whether or not to have another baby, (Hubs was already on board, just waiting for me to come to my senses) I told him that if we were to go down that path, we would either have to move back to Brisbane or stay here for another year.

So here we are. We are almost definitely going to be moving at the end of this year, so I am making the most of my village while I have it. And who knows who will be on the either side of the next lot of sliding doors.

 

*I bloody love this movie. The premise, the execution, the actors. It still gets me thinking, nearly 20 years later!

 

Today was nearly day 1

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Day 1 of not blogging that is. I still haven’t decided what I’m writing about. Hubs is giving some (not so helpful) suggestions.

Another weekend over. More work was done on the ensuite yesterday. Renovating while living-in is the pits let me tell you. I did a bit of real estate research for renting this place out next year. 2 years ago the rental market was booming but now, well it’s also the pits. All the money we have put into the place may not exactly pay off. This makes me sad and stressed.

But not regretful. This house was a renovators delight and even though it drives me insane sometimes, the positives of living here, mainly our neighbours, makes it totally worthwhile.

I just did a very long blink so it’s time to say goodnight now. Another random bloggy post. Who even reads this nonsense!? Ha!

Girls night

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I so need this right now. I can’t wait to go out and talk nonsense with my gal pals up here who I don’t mind saying, are some of the finest ladies I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I’m all frocked up and got the tick of approval from Quinny who said I looked so beautiful like a princess.

I couldn’t help myself, cooking for Hubs and his mum who is visiting, and the kids and having everything ready before I left. I kept justifying it by saying how easy it was: a slow cooked pulled pork with a loaf of bread in the bread maker and a wombok salad. One of my favourite easy meals.

I know Hubs would have thrown something together but I was just trying to be helpful. I guess it’s the good old mother-guilt kicking in.

Though I had to say, as I was getting ready, Chance was getting more and more feral and excitable and was taking Darby with him so I had no problem walking out the door and leaving him to it. As he reminds me from time to time, he’s been a parent for just as long as I have.

So even though I can’t get boozy and won’t be dancing too much I’ll be in the company of lovely ladies who know how to have a good time. It’s going to be a great night.

Hmmm

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Do I still blog if I have nothing to say?

Trying to figure that one out.

I said yes to Hubs cleaning the kitchen tonight. Actually I asked him to do it/told him I was going out and it needed to be done. Same same but different.

We have just started a new TV series called Mr Robot. It has Christian Slater in it; one of my huge 90s movie star crushes. He’s still got it.

I guess I did have a couple of things to say. It’ll do for another day.

A lesson I need to learn

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I am not a control freak by any means. Well I don’t think I am. But when it comes to things around the house, I am definitely, and to me detriment, of the opinion that if I don’t do it myself it won’t be done properly,  which will in turn make more work for me so I should just do it myself to begin with.

For the love of my sanity I need to let that go. Hubs and I have a deal that he offers to clean the kitchen each night and I accept when I really need it. Except it’s been literally months since I have taken him up on the offer because he doesn’t do it the way I want him to.

Who cares?????!!!! Done beats perfect, right? Right??? Good grief Charlie Brown!

I am going to have to start not only accepting help but asking for it when baby time draws closer. I’m already struggling to keep up with the vacuuming so when my darling Chance was desperate to help me vacuum today I took him up on his offer. Sure it took twice as long and since I was the one picking everything up off the floor it was actually more work for me, but I want to get the kids involved in the upkeep if the house.

I’m not the only one living here so I should not be the only one keeping it clean and tidy. And Hubs needs to lead by example so next time he offers I’ll be saying yes please.

And I will not find something else to do other than plonk myself on the couch. And blog.

Slightly uncomfortable

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I really must delve into the archives for some photos of me at 33 weeks pregnant with the other kids. Bending over is getting tricky, so I do it sparingly. I’m often asking the kids to grab stuff for me since they are so much lower to the ground. It does mean that the place is a little more untidy than usual and that is saying something. I find that once I’m bent over, picking something up, I do think to myself “well while I’m down here, is there anything else I can collect?”

Of course, there always is.

My lungs are running out of breathing room, so even though I’m keen to keep lifting my heavier weights at the gym, my breath just can’t keep up, and according to our trainer, I’m supposed to be able to carry on a conversation while working out. If I’m too puffed for that then I’m pushing too hard. I definitely pushed too hard on Monday which saw me completely exhausted and utterly useless for the rest of the day.

Lesson learnt. I now know my new, albeit temporary limits.

Getting up off the couch is not something I look forward to, nor is getting up out of the kids seats I sometimes sit in to play with the kids.

It’s hard to believe that in just 7 weeks (probably 8, let’s face it) I’ll be holding a little bubba in my arms and saying goodbye to sleep for a few months. And all this discomfort will be worth it. (And be replaced by other discomfort but again, only temporarily.)

I seriously can’t wait I’m so excited ❤