He may never

June 20, 2015 / Renae / 4 Comments

After walking around the house and picking up Hubs’ boots from the front door, shirt from the loungeroom, pants from the toyroom and bag on top of the open dishwasher door (yes, this happened), I realised that Hubs may never be the guy who picks up after himself.

I was considering this the other night, and as you do at 9:30pm after a long day, I started thinking of the other things that drove me crazy about him. And then I smiled. Because there were so many things for me to be thankful for. I went to bed, snuggled against my husband of almost eight years, the father of my three gorgeous children, and I was content.

Because even though he may never put his breakfast bowl in the dishwasher, he will always give me a sleep in when he can. I slept in three days in a row last week, one of those days I was in bed until after 10am. He took the kids to playgroup (so many brownie points there!) and then looked after them while I had a physio appointment.

He may never understand why I prefer to clean up the kitchen before going to bed, but after a long day at work, when he comes home to a messy house with feral (but happy) children, with his wife on the couch reading the internet (yes, the whole internet), as long as he is greeted with a big smile, a warm hug and a cold beer, all is right in his world.

He may never pay much attention to the time, which will sometimes mean he’s running late for things, but it also means he gives the kids and I his full attention when he’s around. And all he wants from us, really, is our full attention from time to time.

He may never be interested in the “sensible” choice for buying a car, but he will always have reasons behind his ideas, and expect the same of other people. This may mean I might not get the minivan I want, but it will always mean we will have a great, fun car for our family.

He may never be the kind of guy who will see a household job that needs to be done, but he will take the kids to the park at 5:15pm just so they can get out of the house for a good runaround before dinner.

So even though there are things that will always drive me crazy, they don’t compare even slightly to all the wonderful things he brings to our marriage and to our lives. He really is such a catch and I am so thankful we found each other.

No good deed goes unpunished

June 17, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

“Do you have any hobbies?”

“Ummm… what? Yes. Yes I do. Ummm… I’m sure I do!”

Think McFly think!

“I like to walk my kids to kindy?”

Why was the physio asking me this question anyway??* I was here to get my back looked at/fixed, not put on the spot with difficult questions!

You see, last Thursday, I decided it would be a delightful idea to take my children, along with their Poppy, to the Rockhampton show. Which is much like the Ekka but on a much smaller scale, or like the Cloncurry Show, but on a larger scale.

The kids (and Poppy) at the start of the day:

Sidebar – I can’t believe I never got around to blogging about the ‘Curry show! Chanbe raved about that day for months afterwards, and still refers to any kind of show as the Cloncurry show. So cute. Short version: We had an absolute blast at the ‘Curry show. Let me see if I can drag out some photos some time.

But not tonight. Because if I put this post off for even one more day, I fear I won’t write anything for a month. There have been too many intentions and not enough action on this blog lately.

On another sidebar, is it ironic that the laptop we bought is a “Surface Pro (3)” yet I couldn’t find a single clear surface to put it down on to type this post? Much pushing and shoving had to be done first.

Anyway. Back at the ranch.

Oooh it’s game 2 of state of origin tonight! And I don’t seem to give much of a rats. Hmmm… that’s a bit sad (and very un-Queensland of me!)

So yeah, the Rocky show. It was okay. Lots of crappy food, rubbish games that cost a small fortune to play and promised big but delivered little, and of course my little Chanbe wanted to do everything. One thing we did promise was a ride on the dodgem cars, as we had had such a great time on them at the ‘Curry show.

Hence the trip to the physio. I’m getting to old for that sh*t. I think I jarred my back on those stupid cars (it was such fun though!!).

That explains the title, but the point of this post? To get some words onto the screen. Still so much to share – Darby’s lovely baptism weekend with accompanying photos is the main thing. I just need time. And space. Both physical and mental.

Maybe one day…

Oh yeah, and this was how the day ended up. It was home time. And no, we won’t be going back next year…

* I think he was trying to ascertain whether there was something I like to do that might exacerbate the injury, or anything I might need to take some time off from. Is parenting a hobby? 😉

I blame the Queen

June 10, 2015 / Renae / 2 Comments

Strap yourselves in people. This one’s a long one!

My head hurts. We just finished watching the movie Predestination. Have you seen it? It’s a bit like watching Inception; with constant thinking and re-thinking what you thought to be true; analysing and over-analysing; jumping from here to there and back again; and have realisation after revelation, only to be completely wrong in your assumptions until the last second of the movie.

It was pretty good actually. But yes, my head hurts from all of the thinking.

So what does any of this have to do with the Queen? I’ll get to that.

On a side note, I need to stop writing blog posts in my head when I’m nowhere near a computer. Whenever I do that, the actual blog post is always a disappointment, as I invariably forget all the good stuff that came off the cuff (ie in the shower, on one of my walks, etc etc) and am left with a jumbled mess of incoherent thoughts. Ironically, I pretty much nailed this last paragraph which I thought up in the shower 10 minutes ago.

Let’s get on with it, shall we?

Let me tell you a little secret. Actually, it’s no secret at all. I’ve been slipping a bit with my organisation skills. In the last year, I have had three pretty major travel arrangement stuff-ups, and I’m so over it. There was the time when Jetstar didn’t let me fly at 34 weeks pregnant with Darby without a doctors’ clearance for this trip (I can’t believe I didn’t blog about that! I think I was just over it), then there was the great wrong date booking of March 2015.

And now, a new winner. You see, I’ve been meaning to renew mine and Hubs’ passports for years. Yes, you read that right. Mine expired in 2011 and Hubs’ expired in 2010. It’s been on my to-do list all that time, but I just never got around to it, and never really had the need. Until just over two weeks ago. Hubs was told that there was a place in a course in Wellington NZ available due to a cancellation, and would he like it. Well yes he would!

Two weeks was plenty of time to get a passport! Except that we needed a signature of someone who had known Hubs for over a year. Thankfully, Friday week ago, my dear cousin was coming to visit, so we intercepted her at the airport here on the Friday night, so Hubs could attend his appointment to get the passport on Saturday morning.

You’re still waiting for the Queen, right? Or maybe you’ve figured it out already?

We were still being assured at this stage that the passport would arrive in time. I had booked Hubs’ flights, accommodation, paid for his course, booked his domestic flight from Wellington to Auckland to visit his bro and sister-in-law (helloo!!!!!) before returning home. We were set, but just to make sure, Hubs paid the extra $110 for “priority post” so nothing was left to chance.

By Friday, it still hadn’t arrived, but we were told it was on the way. And then Monday was a public holiday. But it was okay. We still had until 1pm on Tuesday, as Hubs’ flight to Brizzie left at 1:30pm. So while Hubs was at work on Tuesday, we waited for the postman to deliver the goods.

By midday, we were getting nervous. By 12:30, Hubs had arrived home and we were panicking just little (a LOT!) And then we spotted him down the road. I got into the car and raced (drove carefully) to find the postman. I pulled him up and enquired about the passport. He didn’t even have our street’s mail!!! It was at the depot, but being the kind soul he was, he said that he would meet us at the depot in 15 minutes to get it for us.

I flew back and picked up Hubs, and we felt sweet relief. We were going to make it after all! I was just so excited as the adrenaline pumped through my veins. We met the postie when he advised and he set about finding the registered parcel.

Except there was nothing there.

Devastation/frustration/fury/disappointment/bewilderment… you name it, I was feeling it. I was defeated. But Hubs had one trick left up his sleeve. If he could get onto someone in Brisbane, maybe just maybe he could still get some kind of paperwork that would get him there. After being on hold, and being cut-off, he had to make a split decision: Call in quits or get on that plane to Brizzie and try his luck.

He chose the latter. But to no avail.

Too bad, so sad was pretty much what he was met with. So he spent the next 5 hours at the airport, waiting for a return flight to Rocky.

So on Monday we celebrated the Queen’s birthday with a public holiday. And I can pretty much guarantee that the passport would have arrived in time, had it just been a normal Monday. You know, since it arrived today.

So that is why I blame the Queen.

Feeling existential?

June 5, 2015 / Renae / 2 Comments

Google “Uptown Funk” and watch the film clip.

It’s impossible not to smile and want to try some of the moves in this music video. Is that what you kids are calling them these days? Do you remember RAGE? I never watched RAGE. It was too hip for me. I was a Video Hits kinda gal myself. More mainstream. That’s me.

Or that was me, until Hubs and I got together. Since then it’s been all backstreets for us. And it’s been great.

It’s Friday night. A few hours ago we were joined in Rocky by my parents, Hubs’ Dad, and Uncles Ben and Clayton. It’s going to be a great weekend. We are celebrating Darby’s baptism on Sunday, and more friends arrive throughout the weekend. We also have some local friends who are able to share this special day with us.

There’s so much to tell you. Do you know how many times a day I write blog posts in my head? It’s several. Every day. My blog is on my mind often, most days, and it’s times like this that I wish we had a designated spot for a designated computer that I can blog from, with all my photos within easy reach.

It will happen. It will take time to get this beautiful house of ours in order, and we are getting there.

I want to tell you all about how Quindy sings “Let it go” from Frozen all day long. But she says “ellit go” instead. And how Chanbe sings “Brave” just as much, and I love him more each time he sings it. It’s just too wonderful. I have awesome videos of both of these, and I’ll upload them soon.

I want to tell you that life is going well right now. I want to tell you that I didn’t get to bed until after 10:30pm after my last blog post because I had to help out Darby and Hubs and then Chanbe before my head finally hit the pillow. And that I didn’t mind at all. Cos that’s what wifeys/mamas do.

I want to tell you that Hubs has been on a real video clip kick lately, and that’s why I know what “Uptown Funk” is all about. And I really can’t get enough of it. It just makes me happy. And I’m really into doing things that make me happy right now.

And having family around me certainly fits that criteria. It’s going to be a great weekend.

Nearly bed time

May 28, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

Over the last seven days, four out of the five members of this family have been hit with a nasty bout of gastro. I am the only one left standing. As it got passed to each family member, it got worse for that next person in line. Hubs was the latest victim, with it hitting him at 1am this morning. And boy was it a nasty 12 hours. Darbs had already started it during the day yesterday, so between the two of them, plus having Chanbe and Quindy in bed with me (Hubs ended up in Chanbe’s bed), not much sleep was had.

And now everyone is in bed, asleep, but me. And it’s been that way since 7:30pm. But I have things to do – folding to put away (check!), kindy lunch to make (check!), travel arrangements to make for Hubs (in the process right now), and chai tea to drink (check!).

I just can’t do it people! I can’t get my head around going to bed early. And by early, I mean before 10pm. I am happy to go to bed around 9:30 and read for a bit, but that’s pretty much where I draw the line. Especially when I have the house to myself (*sigh*) and can enjoy my cup of tea without interruption.

I had a list of things to get done today, but since Quindy couldn’t go to her kindy, and with Darbs and Dadda to look after, the only thing that got done was the mandatory washing that comes with having gastro go through the house. I really really really hope I’ve been able to avoid this round. And I’m really really really glad it didn’t happen next weekend, when we have people coming up for Darby’s Baptism!

It’s all in the timing.

Okay. It’s nearly 9pm. I’m going to log off, brush teeth, get ready for bed, and as you know, this might mean I get to bed by 9:30…

Q: How can it take 45 minutes to walk 1km?

May 25, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

A: Because of three kids.

That is literally how long it took us to walk home from picking Quindy up from kindy the other day. Darby and I left home at 2:20pm to walk down to Chanbe’s kindy which is only 650m down the road. Pushing the big pram, this normally takes about 8 minutes. We picked Chanbe up from kindy, and he hopped on his bike that I brought along with us. The whole way to Quindy’s family day care is flat, and Chanbe can really scoot along on his balance bike, so I have to walk quite quickly to keep up. Even so, with all the stoppages, drinks breaks, “my feet hurt can I ride in the pram” stops etc etc etc, the 1.5km can take up to half and hour to complete.

We arrive at Quindy’s kindy (ha ha) and as her educator is giving me a great debrief of the day, the kids play for a bit longer together and the carer has a cuddle with Darby-doo. By the time I put Darby and Quinn in the pram, and get Chance sorted with his helmet, then stop to find Q’s drink bottle, it was about 3:30. The walk home is 1.2km up a bit of a hill.

This is where things start to get ridiculous. Now I have to say off the bat that I’m in no hurry to get home. The longer it takes us, the better as far as I’m concerned. So when Q wants to hop out and walk, I encourage it. and then when C wants to get back in the pram, I say “sure thing buddy”. It’s when they both want to get in, that my back and neck and shoulders let out a whimper. This means I have to strap Darby into the carrier on my front, and push the pram, (18kg) Chance (20kg) and Quinn (10kg) up the small hill. Oh, and Chance and Quinn like to stand up in the pram and try and touch the low hanging trees.

Look, it’s a lot of fun really. Apart from when, 50m from home, Chanbe had a bit of a meltdown – I think he was honestly so tired from a full day of kindy, and riding most of the way home (he was back on his bike at this stage) and he’d just had enough of life really. But we got there in the end, and now that we have a wonderful, glorious, huge backyard, this is what we spend most of our afternoons doing…

I actually have a really cute video of the kids on the tire swing (behind the plane) but I can’t quite get it to work (still getting used to WordPress!) and since then, Hubs put the Red Barron plane bed up as a swing! So. Totally. Awesome.

A glimpse

May 21, 2015 / Renae / 2 Comments

Do you ever catch a quick look at yourself in the mirror and see something you didn’t expect to see?

That happened to me last Thursday. You know, the cheesecake day? After spending the majority of the afternoon kicking myself for eating too much cake, my self esteem and body image were taking a bit of a battering. I was faffing around in the bathroom when I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It actually made me stop and smile.

My sunnies were holding my hair back which made it nice and spiky out the sides; I had been bothered with a bit of foundation and mascara that morning, which were both still present; and I just didn’t look as tired and worn out as I was certainly feeling at the time.

I had to go grab my phone (and move to better lighting) and take a photo for the sake of my self esteem.

Okay, so I took a few photos 🙂

I gave myself a metaphorical pat on the back for looking at myself and seeing the good stuff. Far too often I am critical of my appearance and dwell on things, when I could be spending that brain space and emotional energy on more meaningful things instead. Like loving myself, and telling myself that I’m doing a pretty damn good job at this thing called life.

Happy Mothers Day

May 14, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

I’ve been meaning to blog about Mothers Day since Monday, but our computer died and I just haven’t had the inclination to fire up our new laptop (which we coincidentally and fortunately bought two weeks before the death of the PC.)

This year was a bit haphazard in that Hubs was working most of the weekend so things were a bit spread out. I got a nice sleep in and some time to myself (well, just with Darby) on Saturday morning, then Hubs worked most of Saturday arvo/evening. He had to work early Sunday morning, so I just hung out with the kids and made pancakes for us all. Hubs came home around 10am and I was given a few prezzies which was nice. Then most of the household had a rest/sleep/nap/movie time from noon til 3, at which time Hubs had to go back to work. So the kids and I spent the afternoon outdoors and did some painting and lounging about.

Thankfully Hubs didn’t have to work at all on Monday so I got another bit of a sleep in, followed by more presents! And some cuddles in bed.

That was actually Hubs’ first full day off (aka 24 hours) in 3 weeks. Yeah, it’s been full on! We then all went out for brunch and The Giddy Goat, our favourite place in Rocky, and spent the rest of the day just pottering around the house which was actually really really nice. I didn’t want him to go back to work the next day 🙁

Being a Mum to these three monkeys is the most challenging thing I’ve ever done, and will ever do I’m sure. And even though I sometimes miss the days of sleeping in and not having to be responsible for anyone but myself, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Now, I have half an hour before I pick Chanbe and Quindy up from their respective places of care, which begs the question: Coffee, or nap?

The small things and why I won’t buy cheesecake again

May 14, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

I’ve written this post in my head about 8 times in the last 2 hours, so let’s see how it pans out on screen.

Today is my first day with just me and Darby-doo. Quindy began Family Day Care yesterday for 2 days a week which is great in so many ways, and guilt-filled in a few as well. Of course. I mean, what’s parenting without guilt, right? Here she is on her first day:

I know. She looks totally miserable about going, right? Anyway, yesterday went great and today is going very well too.

But this post is about cheesecake.

So Darbs and I set off at about 9:30 this morning to grab a few winter layers for the kids from op shops. I went to 2 places (almost next door to each other – so awesome!) and got everything I needed and done by 10:30. I was on my way home and I thought I should just quickly duck in to Stockland for a couple of things. This was my first mistake. One does not simply “duck in to Stockland for a couple of things.”

I got what I needed and before I went in to Woolies to buy milk, yoghurt, cheese, spinach and bananas, I decided to grab a coffee and sit down for a few minutes. There were a few people in front of me to order, which gave me time to spy some vanilla slice in the display cabinet. My mind immediately said “NO!” because I’m trying to limit my treats and because I’ve been walking and doing couch 2 5k every day and didn’t want all that hard work to go to waste.

But I wanted something yummy. And then I saw it. Cappuccino cheesecake. It looked SO GOOD. There was still someone ahead of me. I ummed and aahhhed and thought “stuff it” and decided to get the cheesecake. I didn’t want to talk myself out of it. I just wanted to have coffee and cake and enjoy it and not feel guilty for it.

I sat down and made conversation with a mum beside me who had a 6 month old boy. 15 minutes later, my coffee came out. No biggie. I wasn’t really in a rush, and it’s nice to savour moments like these. But my cheesecake didn’t come with it. I immediately prompted the staff member and she waved in the general direction of the counter and said it would be coming.

I know this isn’t a big deal, really, but when you’ve taken 15 minutes to make a coffee, surely it’s not too hard to have the cake ready to go out at the same time. So I started my coffee and kept waiting. A few minutes passed and still no cheesecake. I was starting to get annoyed now. So I asked another staff member on her way back to the counter. She said she’d look into it but when she got there, she served someone else.

It was at this time that I was telling myself to cancel the order. “Abort abort! You don’t need the cheesecake! It’s a sign!!!!”

I was already halfway through my coffee by this stage and finally it arrived. I greedily helped myself to a big chunk of it and half way through chewing, it hit me.

Gelatin.

Why, for the love of all human kind, do people still use gelatin in cheesecakes??? It gives it such a weird jelly-like texture (funny about that). I was so disappointed. “You don’t need to eat it.” I said to myself. But by this stage my emotions were running hot and I just had to have it. I tried not to eat it all, really I did, but I just didn’t have the willpower today. Aside from the gelatin, it was quite yummy. But it wasn’t mind-blowing amazing like it had been in my head.

It’s just those small things that can make a big difference to my day. I spent the next 2 hours kicking myself and feeling stupid for giving in to such a childish craving, but I’m moving on now. I just need to remind myself of this feeling the next time I’m faced with this decision…

Comfort factor

May 6, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

Last year sometime, Hubs made a comment that went something along the lines of “you don’t like to be uncomfortable.” Of course I took offence to this, as I’m always happy to leave my comfort zone for new adventures. I was living in Mount Isa for goodness sake!

But that’s not what he meant. He was saying that I don’t seem to like being uncomfortable. Like if it’s too hot or too cold or I’m pregnant or I’m sick or I’m injured. And I had to admit, once I thought about it, and after a couple of months of noticing certain behaviours of mine, he was right. I liked my environment, which included my physical self, to be comfortable.

So I started stepping out and seeing what I could do to better adapt to uncomfortable situations. And this year, I’ve really stepped it up a notch. When it’s hot, I still go for a walk. It’s always going to be hot, and commenting on it (read: whinging) will not change that fact. I sweat almost immediately, and start puffing not long after that, but I’m doing something positive for my body, so it’s worth being temporarily uncomfortable.

That’s the other thing I’m having realisations over. Nothing is forever. Everything is temporary. This too shall pass. (Yeuch. Cliche time.) My mother-in-law reminded me of this months ago: No matter how bad of a day I’m having, there has never been a day that hasn’t ended. I seem to have been having a few of those lately. It’s a mixture of exhaustion from solo parenting, and challenging two and four-year-old behaviour. Even Hubs’ patience is being tested and that guy is a saint! So I know it’s not just me.

But I know it won’t last forever. This behaviour is a time of learning, and with the right direction and encouragement, the kids will continue to thrive. I just need to continue with my deep breathing, and let a few things through to the keeper. I don’t have to connect with every delivery.

So in keeping with this theme, it’s 30 degrees today, and I’m about to walk to and from Chanbe’s kindy for the third time today. The first time was at 8:30am for drop-off and by the time I got home (pushing our huge pram uphill all the way) I was dripping with sweat, but I felt good. Then I walked back at 10am for the Mothers Day morning tea that they hosted and home again, and now I’ll be heading back again for pick-up. It’s okay to be uncomfortable, and it’s feeling better and better every day.