Category: A Whine

Gastro Boy

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We are all currently recovering from a bout of gastro that Chanbe may or may not have brought home from mothers group or day care. Oh, and we also shared it with the rellies we stayed with in Melbourne (sorry AA & Co!) before Chanbe and I flew to Brisbane on Tuesday. Oh, and now my Dad is feeling unwell. Did I mention we are up here for his retirement party on Saturday?

Yeah, I’m feeling pretty bad, and not in the “funny in the tummy” way. I’ve got the guilts, big time. I know that these sorts of illnesses happen a lot with kids, and we have been very lucky not to have had too many bugs go through the family (so to speak). It’s the “passing the sickness on to others” that I’m feeling bad about. I know people understand but I hate being the one to pass it around.

Sorry everyone! Will a cute baby-cino photo help? Feel better soon!!

babycino

 

Feeling utterly useless

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We’re home! And that makes me happy.
Chanbe slept all through the night and didn’t wake up until 7:15 this morning. That makes me happy too.
Mum is here to help me around the house while my foot is broken. That makes me happy and grateful.

I can’t do anything useful that doesn’t involve sitting down. That makes me sad. And frustrated.

I like to be doing things. Not all day – I do love my downtime – but to not be able to do my own shopping or washing or cleaning or picking Chanbe up is really hard for me. I know Mum is more than happy to be here to help out, and Hubs has just been a superstar even more so than usual, but it’s so hard not being able to do what I want, when I want. I know this is temporary, and I know there are a lot of people in worse situations that are permanent, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t hard and that I’m not allowed a bit of a whine.

I’m still learning the art of asking for, and accepting help. I’m usually the one wanting to help others. I’m really trying to find the lessons to learn out of this situation. I get my “real” cast on tomorrow which I’m sure will be fun.

My goals for the next 4-6 weeks are:
– to not get lost in self pity
– to enjoy this forced break and make the most of the help that is being generously offered
– to give myself time to heal so as not to tempt a repeat incident
– to catch up on “paperwork”
– to work on my new blog
– to realise that even though things won’t get done the same way I would do them, that’s okay
– to read books, not just things on the internet

Wish me luck!

Plummeting back down to earth…

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… with an almighty crash. 

This time last week we were surrounded by family and friends and a support network. We were staying in the same house, night after night, week after week. We didn’t have to pack and unpack and pack again every week. I felt relaxed and faced each day with anticipation and excitement, and had such a great time.

It’s hard to come back to our “normal” (I use the term very loosely) life after such stability. I am sitting here with my diary open, planning the next couple of months. 5 days back home in MB, then next week in Wang, then back to MB for a week, then the following week in Wang, then back here and so forth for maybe 2 months. Oh, and a few trips down to Melbourne thrown into the bag just for fun as well. 
I realise the choice to go to Wang with Hubs is mine. But at the same time, it’s not really a choice. If Hubs is going to be away for 5 of 6 days, and he’s going to a place where I have a whole bunch of awesome friends, well… what would you choose? I think the hardest part about this lifestyle is that I don’t know anyone else going through the same thing. So people can say they understand, but I don’t think they do. 
This is why next year, I need for us to go somewhere and stay put for a year or 2. We’ll go on holidays of course, but not every single freakin’ week. It’s already getting me down and we haven’t even started. Man this is going to be a long year.

In 6 months time…

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I’m currently looking at my life, thinking “things will be better in 6 months time.” There are a few things that are getting me down at the moment, that are completely in my control to change, that I would really like to change gradually to make them stick.

You see, I’ve put on a few extra holiday kilos (actually, they started creeping on well before we left MB) and it has been a very long time since I have felt this down about my body. A comment from a (I hope) well-meaning relative back home didn’t help things at all. But that’s okay. I have a game plan and my first day (today) went well. It’s going to be a long journey, but I’m committed. I have to be.

Also, I don’t really like my hair length at the moment – I want it long. I know that in 6 months it will be a great length to tie back and put cute little clips in.

Oh, and my fingernails. I’ve been a chronic nail-biter since I was 5 years old and the only thing that used to make me stop was $20 bribes from my aunty. Once I got the cash though, it wouldn’t take long before I was back into the nasty habit. I’ve actually been mainly not biting them over the last 10 or so years, and the most recent massacre was when I was driving behind Hubs when he had just picked up his new motorbike. It took about 300km before they were all gone again, and I haven’t given them any chance to grow back. But I love having fingernails (and hate hate hate the look of my chewed nails) so I have set myself the goal of growing them nicely for a couple of weddings I have in March.

The other, probably most important thing, is that I haven’t felt like my faith is getting much of a look in these days, and thanks to my good friend who gave me a daily devotional for Christmas, I can re-connect which always seems to make the rest of my life better and easier.

Hmmmm… what else? There are a few other little niggly things that I might share at the 6 month mark. Wish me luck!

Face off

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Hubs and I were enjoying a lovely JJJ Hottest 100/Australia Day Party with our friend who always hosts a JJJ Hottest 100/Australia Day Party. We were gathered around, enjoying conversations about what will be number 1 on the countdown, sailing trips, and our friend’s upcoming overseas move.

And then we started talking about facebook. I don’t normally buy in to discussions about the pros and cons of facebook, as I know I have my reasons for not wanting to be a member, and although I’m happy to explain those reasons, I don’t like to be made to feel like I “should” be a member. But a friend asked me to explain why I didn’t partake and so I did. (see here) He wasn’t convinced and tried to give reasons why my reasons weren’t valid. So I explained further, but he still wasn’t satisfied. I got a bit fired up and made my point with a couple of swear words (probably would have made the point better without them, but you get that) and he said he understood where I was coming from and that was the end of it.

On our way home, it got me thinking and I said to Hubs “It makes me really sad that I feel like I can’t be involved in something that could be really amazing.”

Hubs’ response? “You are involved in something amazing. It’s called life.”

He started saying more but I stopped him and said I wanted to bask in the words he had just said. It. Felt. Gooooood. I have had a lot of people in my life tell me how they think it’s so great that Hubs and I really make the most of things; how we’re always doing exciting stuff and wonder what adventures we will begin in the year to come. And I love that. I LOVE that we have such a transient lifestyle, as we really do make an effort to make the most out of the time we have in each place. (Of course it does drive me crazy sometimes, but there’s always more good than frustrating!)

So I will continue to live my life without facebook, and although I will miss out on things from time to time, I feel like I will be using that time to live my life.




(I certainly don’t wish to ostracize those who are pro-facebook, it’s just not for me.)

Redefining

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I’ve taken a bit of a step back from my blogging lately. This hasn’t been an entirely intentional decision on my part. I just haven’t been feeling it. A few times I’ve thought “I could blog about that” but nothing has come of it. So I decided to read some new blogs, to get some inspiration; to get the creative juices flowing again. Trouble is, the more blogs I read, the less I felt like writing. I feel like it’s all being said by other people, so why bother saying it myself? And then if I get an idea from someone else’s blog, is that plagiarism? There are just SO many bloggers out there these days, particularly mummy bloggers, which I don’t necessarily consider myself one of, but there are many.

My main purpose for this blog is to document our life in a non-facebook medium, so other people, mainly family and friends, can keep track of our adventures. I guess the more blogs I read, the more I felt a need to write things that people might find interesting. But what people? My intended audience are people who know us and want to know what we’re up to. And even though I am by no means a competitive person, I felt pressure to “do better”.

There is a lot going on in our lives at the moment, but it’s mainly around back-and-forth travel between MB and Wang; something I’m already sick of, and I’m certainly sick of talking about it and how sick I am of it. I thought I had been coping with it okay, and all throughout October, I have been looking forward to being at home in MB for November. Cos that’s what Hubs said would probably be the case. Turns out, The University of Melbourne’s Faculty of Medicine, Rural Clinical School, hates us. Hubs has to travel back to Wang for 3 days a week for 3 weeks. When Hubs told me that news tonight, I almost lost my sh*t.

It’s not his fault, I know that, but I was really really looking forward to some home time. To not having to pack a suitcase; to trying to teach Chanbe some good sleeping habits (like, you know, actually sleeping for more than 2-3 hours at a time) but this seems like a waste of time if we’re just going to drag him back to Wang again for a few random nights here and there.

Wanna know some good news? (Pleeeeease Wifey!!!!!!!!!!) Hubs’ Mum arrived today and she’ll be with us til next Wednesday, and my parents arrive the same Wednesday and stay for 2 weeks. Which means? Extra sleep for Wifey. And of course, lovely, precious time for Chanbe to spend with his grandparents. It might also mean I’ll be back on deck a bit with the ol’ blogging.

I have some things to share, but I don’t quite have the words as yet.

A write-off

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It may seem dramatic, but I’m officially writing-off the next 6 months. There is no normality in our lives; no consistency, no routine, no continuity. This may seem like an exciting way to live, but when you have an almost-11-month-old, it’s not ideal. We’re in Wang for most of October, in MB for most of November, going to Brisbane for December and January, and who knows what next year will bring. So instead of stressing about it, and trying to be normal in any way I can, I’m just going to fly by the seat of my pants and accept that this is our life right now.

I’m sitting here, at our friend’s place in Wangaratta where we stay when we’re here, listening out for Chanbe in case he wakes up, as he is on our bed instead of in his cot as he seems to have developed an aversion for his portacot, and my back just doesn’t have anything left to be picking him up, putting him down (repeat repeat repeat), hoping he has a good sleep. He still doesn’t sleep well, and there is nothing we can do while we are living this transient lifestyle: I’ve just got to go with it.

I’m devoting this time to catching up on my google reader, doing a bit of blogging, and reading trashy magazines that my friend buys. And hoping that this lifestyle we are leading won’t impact too dramatically on our little guy.

Too much TV

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I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this much, but Hubs and I don’t have a TV. We haven’t had one since we moved to Melbourne over 3 years ago. Do I miss it? Sometimes. Would I watch it if we had one? All the time. Would it be quality TV? Probably not.

The only thing I really miss is watching the footy (or any sport for that matter), but every time I get the opportunity to watch tv, all I do is complain that there’s nothing good on. You see, I hate reality tv shows, almost as much as I hate facebook, and when seemingly 80% of tv shows are “reality” (and I use the term VERY loosely, just as I would use the term “friends” on facebook) there doesn’t seem much point in getting a telly.

Other reasons?

– I end up watching crappy shows that I don’t even really like and feel shame afterwards.
– I find myself planning my whole day around what’s on TV. (Friends is on for an hour between 10-11am, so I try and get Chance down for his sleep before 10am or after 11am. Shocking.)
– I get annoyed when Chanbe wakes up and I’m in the middle of watching Master Renovator’s Dinner Date Idol.
– Infomercials. Need I say more? Yes I need. I bought something I saw on an infomercial the other day, and I’m not proud of myself for doing so. I just get. Sucked. IN!! (I haven’t told Hubs yet – I’ll “surprise” him when it turns up! Woo!)

Since we’re in Wang for the better part of the next month, I’m sure I’ll be watching a lot of crappy tv. I just won’t be able to help myself!!!

In the next month…

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…we will be spending a total of:

22 days in Wang
7 days at home
3 days at student accommodation
Frith will spend 3 days in Melbourne
and I’ll spend the entire time thinking “we did not sign up for this!!!”

I’m trying to keep positive by thinking about all the good things about our situation, like the fact that I get to spend a lot of time with my Wang friends, and that I’ll get to watch rubbish tv at our friend’s house where we’re staying, and that I’ve become really good at packing and unpacking (maybe not in a timely manner, but still.)

I have a to-do list as long as my arm at the moment, and I really need to get back to it. I don’t know how much I’ll be blogging in the weeks to come, but I’m feeling inspired again, so hopefully I’ll get the opportunity to write a few posts that are kicking around in my head.

Back to the packing!

He said he’d caaaaaallllll!!!

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I thought, once I was married, that I wouldn’t have to wait for a guy to call me, after he had promised to do so. But I forgot that I still had to deal with real estate agents. Our washing machine stopped working 11 days ago, on a Friday night, and I reported it to the RE agent on the Monday morning. We went to Wang til Thursday night, and on Friday arvo, after picking Chanbe up from Childcare and having coffee with a friend, I popped in to the agent’s office to ask how things were progressing.

“Oh hi Renae. Yeah, um, the guy who fixes washing machines is on holidays til the 20th of October.”

“Riiiiiight. Is there anyone else who could fix it?”

“Yeeeeah, we’re going to try someone over in Bright.”

Wifey’s thinking: Going to? You found out that this guy is on holidays 4 days ago and you haven’t rung anyone else??? And now it’s Friday afternoon. Yeah. Good luck. “Okay, well keep me posted!!!!”

I hadn’t heard anything by yesterday arvo so I gave them another call at 9:05am today.

“Yeeeeah, we were following that up yesterday. I’ll call you back in 10 or 15 minutes.”

It’s been 45 minutes. I have 4 loads of washing to do. Luckily a new friend of ours (a receptionist from the medical centre lives just around the corner and has very kindly offered her washing machine for use this morning (and any time) but that’s not the point!!!

WHY WON’T HE CAAAALLLLLLL???????