Category: A Whine

Trying

/ Renae / 2 Comments

I know I’ve been a bit of a grumpy bum lately around home. I’m just so tired. Chance wakes up every 2 hours (every 3 on a good night and every hour on a bad night) on average and most of the time it’s not a huge hassle to get up, but lately I’ve been wondering what else to try. The problem is, we change his routine so often that he never quite knows what’s going on – in Brisbane one week, back home the next, back in Brizzie the week after, back home after that, and next week we’ll be in Wang all week. I’ve tried the tips in the no-cry sleep solution, but one of the things they say is that you really need a block of time (weeks/months) to develop the good sleep habits we’re after, and our lifestyle isn’t really allowing for that at the moment.

When I tell other mothers that I get up every 2 hours they look at me, horrified and say how sorry they are for me. I reply with some line about how it’s not so bad as Chance is happy during the day so I know nothing is wrong, he’s just not a great sleeper. And then I go into the “maybe this is my fault” thinking which is every so helpful. “Maybe if I didn’t breastfeed him so much he wouldn’t be looking for it all the time; Maybe I need to be more diligent with my self-settling techniques.” It’s just so hard at 12, 2, 4am etc to stick to those techniques when all I want is sleeeeeep.

And the problem is, Hubs doesn’t get the best of me. In fact, he probably gets the worst of me. When other people are around, I put on the brave face and suck it in, but when it’s just the 2 (3) of us, it’s hard not to complain about how tired I am and that I want to go to bed early instead of spending quality time together.

I know I know. This too shall pass. Blah blah blah. I know that Chance will work it out eventually. I just need some way of coping a bit better in the mean time. Chance has his first morning at child care tomorrow, and I plan to take him for 2 mornings a week. Maybe that will help things a bit. I just feel like life is on top of me and I’m never going to get out. I used to be able to do all the housework, pay the bills and make lovely dinners every night, but in the last month since Chance has started moving around a lot more, I’m finding it nearly impossible to keep up. I’ve had to pay overdue fees for 3 bills because I forgot about them which has almost never happened before.

Hubs told me last night that I can’t do everything and that I needed to be a bit kinder to myself. That was hard to hear. I really want to be able to do everything. It especially freaks me out that if it’s this hard with 1 baby, what am I going to be like with 7? Okay maybe 5… 3??

My saving grace at the moment is that Chance is having daytime sleeps and if I can get him past the 40min half wake-up he can sleep up to 1.5 to 2 hours. He’s been asleep for an hour now, and I know I should be sleeping too, but we have 4 people coming over for dinner, in keeping with my desire to have people over for a meal every week, so I’m cooking beef stew and my favourite orange polenta cake. Plus the washing needs to be done as I didn’t get any done yesterday.

If Chance goes down for an afternoon nap, I’ll join him too. I promise 🙂

And guess who just woke up… 🙂

In search of a village

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They say it takes a village to raise a child. I feel like I was just getting my “village people” together in Wang, and then we moved. I had my wonderful neighbour June, who doted on Chance as if he were her own grandson. She was always happy to take him for an hour or 2 while I did some housework/had a long shower/popped to the shops etc. This was so helpful and it helped me feel like I wasn’t alone, and that I was part of the community. Then there was my mum’s group who were always available for a de-brief or a sympathetic ear. Plus Hubs used to come home for lunch sometimes which broke the day up. Plus the weather was actually pretty nice a lot of the time, so going for walks was a pleasure.

I know that it will take time to establish ourselves in our new community, but I want it to happen NOW NOW NOW!! Because we had family and friends staying with us for the first couple of weeks, and then Hubs was still on holidays, and then I spent 2 weeks in Brisbane, this has been our first real week of our new life. And so far it’s a little lonely. We’ve met a couple of the doctors and their families, and I know that it will take (more) effort on my part, and it’s just a matter of time before I’ll have more to do during the day. Oh, and hopefully the weather will warm up soon! It rained all day yesterday which meant we were at home all day. I kept waiting for it to stop so I could go for a walk, but all of a sudden it was 5pm and time to start dinner.

The other thing that’s weighing heavily on my mind is childcare. Why do I feel guilty for wanting/needing to put Chance into care for a couple of half days a week so I can have some time to myself? So I can use that time to get on top of the housework (does that ever happen??) I just need to get over it. I have an appointment at the local childcare centre this afternoon to check it out. I was hoping to find a local family day care but the closest one is in Bright and that’s too far to make it worthwhile.

Wish me luck in my village-building!

Happy 500 posts Wifey

/ Renae / 6 Comments
What better way to celebrate, than with delicious vanilla bean cake!
Delicious vanilla bean cake with vanilla frosting, topped with ganache!
Delicious vanilla bean layer cake with vanilla frosting, topped with ganache!
Does it get any better than this? Happy posting to meeeeeeeee!

Music gets the best of me

/ Renae / 1 Comment

(I love that Sophie Ellis-Bextor song)

If (when) you come to visit us, you’ll notice a few things: 1. There will often be the smell of freshly-baked goods in the air; 2. I will probably apologise for the chaotic mess that will greet you; and 3. There will be music playing. Nothing loud or fancy, just something playing in the background to add a little ambiance and atmosphere to the place.

Why am I talking about this? Besides the fact that I needed a 499th post (the next one’s the big one!) we have been to a couple of social events lately that have been okay but really could have benefited from some background music. Music is the ultimate ice breaker and helps to lighten any mood in any situation. This is definitely one of those things that Hubs and I can’t understand why other people don’t think the same way as us.

I’ve even been at people’s houses and suggested “Hey do you want to put a CD on?” Is that rude? I’m not saying that these events have been awkward or boring, I’m simply saying having music on as well can make a social situation even better. Like adding a spoonful of milo to your coffee, or putting butter on your corn. It just adds that little something that makes it extra good.

That’s pretty much all I have to say about that. And now, to keep you excited, here’s a fun video we took of Chanbe on Saturday night (oh yeah, we’re party animals) feeding himself. And my voice is in there as usual, laughing my guts up. Oh, and see if you can pick the song/band playing in the background!

Enjoy! And I’ll see you soon at number 500!

Help

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I went shopping on my own on Monday afternoon. Hubs looked after Chanbe and I headed to the chemist and our local IGA (they had our favourite ice cream half price!! Woo!) I had to buy a box of nappies and I also bought a 48 roll pack of toilet paper. Not because we need it right now, but because it was on special (worked out to be 39c per roll! Bear in mind that people usually buy 8-12 rolls at a time.) My point is, I had some big stuff, and I only had a little basket. When the checkout chick said she would go and get a trolley for me, I said “no no that’s fine. I’ll be right.”

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I’m sorry, am I trying to get the title of “martyr of the year??” Seriously? Who says no to that? After processing these thoughts, I said to her “actually, that’s a good idea. I’ll go grab one for myself.

Why is it so hard for me to accept help from strangers? What on earth am I trying to prove? It was the same when I went up to Brizzie with Chance. I had a 15kg pack on my back, the nappy bag on the stroller, and Chance in it. A few people offered to help me but I declined, justifying it in my head with “if I can’t do this on my own, I can’t do it.” Yet if I saw someone in my position, and I was able to help, I would.

And another thing. We live in a tiny 2 bedroom unit and I struggle to keep the place tidy for more than a few days at a time. I’ve been looking forward to being a stay at home mum for quite a while, and now that I’m here, I’m absolutely loving it, but have to admit that it’s hard work. I think because we have such a small place I should be able to keep it clean and tidy, but because it’s so small, we don’t have designated places to put things away, so more often than not, things just get moved around, and never really put away. I’m hoping this will be rectified once we move house.

About a month ago, Hubs mused to me that once he becomes a doctor and money is coming in, we’re going to hire a cleaner. (Actually, he used the word “maid” but I think he meant someone to generally help around the house.) I was secretly really offended by this at first. I thought “that’s my job!” But then I got to thinking – why should I spend all my time racing around like a crazy woman, being too busy to spend time with Chanbe and subsequent babies, when we are able to get some help.

The thing is, we have no family down here, and no one I can really call on regularly to help out. Even though the offers are there, I find it hard to ask for/accept help. My neighbour is always happy to look after Chance, and I trust her implicitly, but I just don’t like to ask too often. And Chance is sick at the moment, so I really don’t want him to spread his germs around, so we’re just hanging out at home. Our messy, looks-like-a-bomb-hit-it, you-can’t-walk-more-than-3-steps-without-running-into-furniture home.

And at the moment I’m not really looking for any help, but there’s such a mental difference between always knowing help is there if I need it, and, well, not. Chance is currently asleep (and snoring like a freight train) and I “should” be tidying up the house, but instead I’m going to chill out and enjoy some down time. We’re moving in less than 2 months anyway, so what’s the point? 🙂

Easy does it

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I’m so tired. I don’t think I’ve been this tired since when Chance was born and the few weeks that followed. We have had such a good run with him – he’s such a laid back, cruisey baby – but the last few nights have seen him get up every hour or two. And last night he stayed awake between 2:30-4:30am. He rolls over in his cot and then gets stuck (he can’t roll back) and so I have to get up and roll him back. This went on and on last night.

3 weeks ago, I ordered a copy of “The No-Cry Sleep Solution” as recommended by a few friends. It still hasn’t arrived. Turns out the person sending it is on holidays and it won’t be here til next week. I wish I’d known that while ordering – I would have bought it elsewhere.

I really shouldn’t complain. He really is such a happy, healthy baby, and we’re loving this time of his life. People say “this too shall pass” and even though I know that to be true, when you’re right in the middle of it, it feels like it’s going to last forever. I feel like I can’t even put a sentence together when I’m out with friends. And even though I should go to bed now, I’ll just be waiting for the next wake-up call. Okay. I’ve got the stares now. I’d better hit the sack. I’m going to start him on solids as of tomorrow, to see if that makes a difference. The time has come.

Please God, let Chance sleep better tonight.

A fine whine

/ Renae / 2 Comments

When we first arrived in Melbourne, our friend Nate came down for a visit so we headed to the Yarra Valley for a look and taste around wine country. We splurged a little bit (read: we didn’t have a budget) and spent a few hundred dollars (read: more than I care to admit) on some very fine wine. Now the thing about buying nice wine when you’re a little bit broke, or are about to become a little bit broke, is that you like to save the good bottles for special occasions. Fast forward two and a half years, and you end up with wine that should have been enjoyed two years earlier as it has endured extreme temperatures of anywhere between 2 and 40 degrees.

I’m so bummed about this! There were 2 wines in particular, one which we opened last night, that aren’t as great as they would/could have been. I remember buying this one in particular from Moet and Chandon and it was $30 and I thought “we’ll drink this on a special occasion”. But no occasion seemed “special” enough and now the wine is less than special.

Mental note: Life is special, so anytime is a special occasion for fine wine.

Are you lonesome tonight?

/ Renae / 3 Comments

I’m lonely. There. I said it. Now I’m not looking for sympathy :-), I’m merely stating a fact. I know what you’re saying. “You’re really good at making friends” and this is true. But it’s those long-standing friendships that really sustain a person’s soul. I felt like I was just starting to make these friends in Melbourne and then we left. I still keep in contact with some gal pals from Melbs, and I love them dearly, but it’s not the same as having someone I can call up and meet for coffee on any given day.

I think another contributing factor is that I had all my friends and family in Brisbane so close by for 6 weeks and I really miss that. It was so great to hang out with all the people who know us so well, so we didn’t have to be on our best behaviour all the time.

I also have this huge fear that I don’t make good first impressions. I just get nervous and want people to like me and I end up babbling and telling weird stories. I’m sure some of the mums in the mother’s group thought I was a bit odd the first few times they met me. (I started late – they had already been meeting for a month before I joined the group.) Thankfully (hopefully) I have redeemed myself with a great meet up yesterday over coffee. There were about 8 of us and I was a bit less nervous and bit more coherent. They are such a great bunch of women and I do hope I get to know them better over the coming months.

A few of them in particular, come to think of it, most of them, are really outgoing and friendly which is so lovely. It means I don’t have to always make all the effort so I can  relax a little bit.

Anyway, things really are going tremendously well for our little family. We are getting into somewhat of a routine, and I make sure I get out of the house every day for a walk or lunch with Hubs or a coffee in town. I do love Wang, but we are also looking forward to our next adventure in Mt Beauty in July.

“Helpful”

/ Renae / 3 Comments

Throughout my pregnancy and ever since Chance was born, people have shared helpful as well as “helpful” comments with Hubs and I.

The helpful comments are things like:
“You’re going to just love being parents.”
“Every year it gets better and better.”
“You will love this time in your lives. It’s so special for you as a family.”

These comments from family, friends and strangers really built me up and up and made me even more excited about being a mum.

And then there was the lady on the plane coming home from Brisbane who had a “helpful” comment for me. I was holding Chance as we were looking for our seats and he was crying/whining a little bit and she looked at me and said “Don’t worry, it only gets worse.”

This really bothered me. Hubs reasoned with me that she was only joking and I know that, but I couldn’t work out for a few days why it annoyed me so much. And then I realised, it’s because there are many women who struggle with postnatal depression for the first few months of their baby’s life and if that lady had made that comment to someone in that fragile state-of-mind, that would have been extremely unhelpful for that new mum. What if she had been thinking “this part is really hard but surely it will get better.” No matter how much you reason with yourself, it’s hard to fight those demons, and comments like that can really send you crashing.

Plus she’s wrong. I know it’s just going to get better and better.

(By the way, I have more time to blog now! Hubs set up one of our laptops (we have a few) in the lounge room so I can play with Chance while I blog! Multitasking!!)

Cuppa anyone?

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Warning: photo is not for the faint at heart!

I put my neck out a week ago – this is the first time this has happened to me in a very long time. The constant pain that I used to feel hasn’t been a part of my life for the better part of 2 years which has been absolute bliss. I put last Wednesday’s episode down to the breastfeeding positions – constantly looking down and lots of bending over and lifting. So I spent Wednesday and Thursday sitting around hoping that Chance wouldn’t want too much attention from me. He was an absolute angel – happy to amuse himself for a lot of the day between his play mat and bouncer. I booked myself in with the local Chinese Medicine establishment for some acupuncture on the Friday. I normally prefer a GP to perform the acupuncture but couldn’t be bothered trying to find one in Wang. By Thursday evening I was feeling a bit better – either my neck was getting better or I was just getting used to it. I think I did a pretty good job of sucking it in actually.

I went to my appointment on Friday afternoon and the acupuncturist got started. I don’t know if many of you have had acupuncture, or believe in it’s ability to help, but I had my first lot of acupuncture when I was 10 years old (I injured my big toe) and have never looked back. I’ve used it for RSI in my wrists, for post-nasal-drip that I had for 18 months, for sciatica (this occurred after a sneezing attack) and for a back problem that I developed 10 days before our wedding. Each time I had great success. I like the traditional way of putting in the needles – just using two fingers to almost squeeze it in. These days, most acupuncturists use the tube. I hate the tube. This method involves the needle being put into a cylinder and being “tapped in”. This ensures the needle is inserted the correct depth. I can’t quite work out why I hate it so much but it makes me tense up and cringe every single time. I liken it to nails down a blackboard or papercuts between your fingers or kicking your little toe on the corner of the bed. It’s not relaxing in the least.

Anyway, back to the story. She put in about 12 needles and left me for 15 minutes, came to check on me, then left for another 15 or so minutes. When she returned and took the needles out, I thought that was the end of the treatment, but she asked if I’d mind her doing some cupping on my back. I really like cupping so I said sure!

I think she may have put the cups on a bit tight though. This was my back a few hours later:

And the bruises are still there, albeit faded, a week later! I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to hurt as much as it did (it never has before) but she wasn’t done yet! She finished it off with a white-knuckle inducing massage. Why didn’t I tell her to be a bit softer? Well, ummm, I don’t know. Maybe because she didn’t ask, or maybe because I’m a massive chicken. Plus the pain felt pretty good. The next day I was quite sore but by Sunday it was feeling much better. I’ve been putting heat on it since then and it’s definitely better.

She said I should have a follow-up appointment sometime this week. I’m thinking not…