Category: Happiness

I feel good (da-ner-nah-ner-nah-ner-nah)

/ Renae / Leave a comment

Well, how would you have written it?

It’s Saturday night, we’ve just had a lovely afternoon/evening at our neighbour’s place, Hubs is back there tinkering in the workshop with the man of the house, I’ve just had a wee tipple of wine, and I’ve been wondering what to blog about tonight.

Oh, and I just remembered I need to book some accommodation for Hubs’ upcoming trip to the UK. Must do that next.

So I thought I’d tell you that I feel good. Like, the best I’ve felt for a long time. Not just emotionally, but physically. And it’s all thanks to Fit Mums.

I have been attending this class religiously since May, and I could count on one hand the number of classes I’ve had to miss in that time. It has been my saviour this year and I friggin’ love it. Even though most of the hard work is around what I shove in my gob every day, this little group of mums, Ben the trainer, and Ash the child-minder, have all combined to help me feel goooooooooood.

I even bought new exercise clothes! So now I’m not working out in my maternity wear. Instead, I’m looking totally buff in this getup 🙂

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Look at those clowns in the background. I’m a regular now, and the kids are just a part of the furniture. Or pilates equipment…

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I know, right? I still have a long way to go, but I’m closer than I ever ever have been.

Want some comparisons? Well, this was me 6 months after Quinn’s birth (so just over two years ago), after completing my first 5km “run” with the fabulous Beth. Remember that post?

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That’s a maternity top I’m wearing btw. I’m pretty much the same “size” (a.k.a. weight) that I was then, but am leaps and bounds ahead in physical strength and fitness. When I did the Couch 2 5k that time, that’s all that I was focused on, and although I’m really proud of what I achieved then, I have so much more understanding of my own body and health now than I ever have before.

Speaking of before, this was taken in April this year.

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And I share this photo not to berate myself or feel bad about my appearance then. I feel no shame when I look at this photo. I’m happy. You can tell by the big smile planted on my face. I’m surrounded by my beautiful family, and I’m holding a glass of bubbly in celebration of my friend giving birth the day before, and life was good.

I’ll say it again: I feel no shame. Not then, and not now. I didn’t hate my body or how I looked. I was confident in my own skin and could find nice things to wear that made me feel good.

But I knew that my mental health and physical health would benefit from more nutritious food, and more physical activity. And that has led me to where I am now.

I just feel good. And on this Saturday night, I just wanted to share that with you all.

Oh, and I need to book that stuff for Hubs… 🙂

 

It’s been a while

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The kids and I arrived in Brisbane today. Dad picked us up from the airport and brought us back to Woody Pt for lunch and cuddles with Gran. And soon we will be heading to my wonderful friend’s place to stay with them for the week. The kids are crazy excited about that. As am I.

We haven’t seen Gran and Grumpy since Darby’s baptism,  and I can’t even remember when we stayed with them last.

It’s been too long.

I’m not ashamed to say that when we stay here I get spoilt rotten. I get sleep ins, I don’t do any washing or cooking or cleaning, and I do minimal parenting. It’s a genuine break for me and I’ve really missed it this year.

I might have to book in some time soon.

The flight down was great – the kids were perfect and it was smooth sailing the whole way. I’m looking forward to being with my people this week.

Might see you round 🙂

Darby’s Baptism

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Yes! It’s finally here! The blog post that is. The Baptism was in June. Am I forgiven? Good. It really was a lovely and special weekend. Darby’s Godfather flew in from Mount Isa, and his Godmother, along with family and close friends, all traveled up from Brisbane to stay for a night or two. Hubs cooked up a storm on Friday night on the BBQ, while we did a bit of prep work for the next two days.

It meant so much to us to have “our people” with us for the weekend. There was so much just sitting around, shooting the breeze, and enjoying the company. As usual, the photos tell the story best!

Darby-doo with his Godfather, Felix

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And Godmum Sonia

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The kids absolutely loved all the attention! As well as the hammock that Uncle Felix bought us. Winner!

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Hubs with his 2 BFFs

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This scene spells out pure joy for me. Wonderful friends and family, fantastic food, and not a care in the world.

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This was the order of service the church put together for us. It was so gorgeous!

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Darby looked grand in the family Baptism gown that his older brother and sister wore before him.

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And the service was really lovely.

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A few nice family photos before Chanbe and Quindy went too feral.

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And then back home for more good times and good food.

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And of course, there had to be “foot” cakes, just like Chanbe and Quindy’s big days.

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We made a little toast to a wonderful weekend.

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Thanks again everyone for coming and sharing Darby-doo’s special day with us, and for being some of the first people to see our first house. It was such a great weekend, and we look forward to more in the future! (Great weekends, not more kids to baptise… 🙂 )

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The fog is lifting somewhat

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Today is the first day in a few weeks that I’ve felt more like myself. I’ve had a few days where I’ve had a sleep while the kids are sleeping (1-2 hours) and a few nights with only three wake-ups between the three kids. Actually, last night it was just Chanbe (once) and Darby-doo (twice). Quindy is sleeping through like a champ. Two weeks and three nights ago, we started gently encouraging the kids to sleep in their own beds “all night long”. Somehow, about 5 months ago, they both got into the habit of coming into our bed during the night and sleeping there for the remainder of the night. I’m not going to lie. Hubs and I were quite enjoying all the snuggle-time with the four of us in our big, warm, king-size bed. But about a month ago, it was just becoming ridiculous.

Chanbe would lie across the bed and kick Hubs half the night; Quindy would wake up at 3am and want to look at the photos on my phone; and Darby-doo was getting woken up with all the hullabaloo, and wanting to be boobed back to sleep. Of course.

So I sat them down on the Monday morning, after a particularly ridiculous night’s “sleep” and gently explained to them that it was time they started sleeping in their own beds “all night long.” I told them that if they wake up and would like a cuddle, to call out to me and I would come in to them. We talked about it a fair bit that day, and I set up some incentive milestones – for one night, they got a little surprise (I can’t even remember what it was now – maybe a piece of chocolate with morning tea???); for one week, they got a toy (Chanbe got Dusty Crophopper, fire and rescue plane and Quindy got a Peppa Pig phone) and for one month, they will get a bigger surprise (yet to be determined. Most likely Lego of some sort.)

And it has worked. The first week was really hard going, with wake ups/cuddle requests/feeding 1-2 hourly; the second week brought some good nights and some really ridiculous nights (hourly wake-ups between the three of them!!) and the last few nights or so, have definitely been better. I knew it would take a little while, but I also knew it would totally pay off for everyone. The kids are getting better sleep, Hubs is getting much better sleep, and I know there will be a time in the near future that I will get to sleep “all night long” as well.

I’m feeling a real sense of achievement around it to be honest. I didn’t want the kids to feel unwelcome in our bed, and I didn’t want them to feel abandoned. But I also knew that we couldn’t keep going the way we were going, and function properly during the day. So much of parenting is about encouraging kids to be more independent, but also letting them know that you’ve got their back.

I started weaning myself off my meds around the same time as we started this exercise, and I realised that it was a really bad time to do so. I’m just not ready yet, and that’s okay. There’s no hurry. Good sleep, clear thoughts, and joyful moments are much more important at this time.

Sweet dreams everyone.

Ignoring my heritage

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Today is Fathers Day.

Hubs doesn’t like to be rushed.

So there will be no rushin’ today.

See what I did there? Ha ha ha ha. Classic stuff. (For those of you who are new here, my grandmother was Russian. Actually she was Ukrainian but that wouldn’t work for this joke… I know it’s not the same but i don’t want the truth to get in the way of a mediocre joke…)

Happy Fathers Day honey. I love how, even when you’re running late for work, you never say no to “one more kiss and cuddle, Dadda?” Even if it’s the third time they’ve asked for “one more”. It’s my favourite thing right now.

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It started with a Doo

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Darby-doo. Cute name for a cute kid. It caught on quickly, and that’s just what we started calling him all the time. Kind of like Quinn is always Quinny. Or Quinny-babinny-boo if she’s being extra cute. And Chance gets a Chancey-pants on occasion.

Anyway, one day I added a scooby and all of a sudden it was Darby-scooby-doo. Still super cute. Then Chance added a poopsie, and it became Darby-scooby-doo-the-poopsie.

And as if that wasn’t enough, a nincompoop was added for good measure.

So here it is folks. Darby-scooby-doo-the-poopsie-nincompoop. And in case you’re having trouble with the pronunciation:

 

Dear Anonymous

/ Renae / 4 Comments

Almost 18 months ago, someone posted a comment on this post that I wrote. Scroll down and have a read.

A few days ago, I referred to that post in this post that I wrote.

I was in fact talking about how I am an extrovert and what that actually means. I read over the comment, and my response to it, and realised that this is a post that I have been meaning to write for a long, long time.

Go and read the comment and my response. I’ll wait for you.

Done? Okay. So the thing is, Anonymous was right. I was absolutely, categorically suffering from depression. I don’t know if I just didn’t want to admit it, or I just wasn’t ready to, but a month later, I told Hubs that I think I needed help. Hubs agreed. He had noticed certain things that suggested to him that his Wifey was not quite feeling herself. And when it all came to a head one night, actually the night of this wedding, he said something to me that I’ve never forgotten:

“You’re allowed. Just because you’re depressed, it doesn’t mean you don’t like your life.”

If you know someone who has suffered from depression, or if you yourself have, then you know this to be true. I was loving my family life – my two beautiful children, baby #3 on the way, a wonderful, supportive husband, an amazing family etc etc etc. I was struggling with life in Mount Isa, but if you had asked me at any time of the day “do you like your life?” the answer would most likely have been a yes.

So why am I writing this post now? Well I got help. I went to my doctor and we both agreed that anti-depressants, as well as some counselling, would help in my circumstances. The first day I started the meds, I thought I’d made a huge mistake. The side effects were absolutely awful – dry mouth, nausea, racing heart; but after making sure everything was okay, I kept going. The first week was rough, but by the end of the second week, my body had adjusted. And a month later, I started feeling like myself again. My head was more clear, and joyful moments were more forthcoming.

It’s been a year and 2 months since I started medication. When we moved to Rocky, I wanted to come off them, but the doctor I saw here advised against it. I had just moved towns, just bought a house, just had a baby, Hubs had just started a new job. He said we should revisit it in six months.

Well, now it’s been six months, and I’m going to go and talk to him next week. I know the meds have helped me incredibly, and I’m a bit nervous about coming off them. What if I can’t “cope”? What if I backslide and don’t realise it?

There are so many “what ifs” about the situation, but I can tell you one thing; I’m in a much better place than I have been for a while. And it’s nice. So thank you, Anonymous, for bringing this to my attention. Even though it took me a little longer to realise what was going on, your observations and concern are very much appreciated.

I shall certainly let you know how I go.

A leisurely lady-like high tea

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It’s fun playing ladies for an afternoon. No kids; getting frocked up, and sharing delicious food and drink with a bunch of gals. Six months ago, I didn’t know any of these ladies. Two months ago I only knew three of them, and now, thanks to joining an indoor netball team through a new friend, I know them all. So when I was invited to a high tea fund raiser with them, how could I say no?

Here’s the frock of choice for the afternoon:

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It’s nice to be able to wear a dress that a) I haven’t fit into for over three years (woot!) b) doesn’t need to be “breastfeeding friendly” and c) that I can accessorize with dangly earrings instead of boobie beads.

Here is the setting:

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There were close to 200 tickets sold to the event this year, and they really put on a great afternoon. And here are the ladies who made it extra fun for me:

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What a good looking table we were. Lots of laughs and fun stories were shared, as well as a few glasses of bubbly. It really energised me to be honest. If you know me, or if you’ve been reading for a while, you’ll know that I’m very much an extrovert, and really need these social outings to keep me going. It makes me a better mum, a better Wifey and just a happier gal all-round.

And if you’re new here to the blog, welcome! I’ve had a few people recently tell me that they’ve just started reading which is always exciting. Stick around and enjoy the show! 🙂

On arriving home after the high tea, it was back to life as I know it. There was washing to be hung, kids and adults to be fed, dishwashers that, no matter how hard I wish, won’t unload and then re-pack themselves. I flitted about these activities with a sense of calm. Yes, it was back to it, but just with a slight spring in my step.

Oh, and because I spent the afternoon eating, I skipped dinner and went straight for the wine. And instead of doing the mountain of cleaning up in the kitchen first, I decided to say hello to you all.

Because sometimes the dishes can wait.