I love my kids. I love My Hubs. Life is exhausting and chaotic and messy and I wonder if it will ever be different or easier; I wonder if my house will ever be tidy, but it’s where we’re at right now and we’re in it together, me and Hubs. And that’s all that matters.
Our attempts at a family photo. Chance was not interested…
Happy birthday to the perfect man for me. You are an amazing partner and a fabulous Dadda. Love you honey xxx
Two of your favourite things in one xx
I’ve been remembering back to when Chance was a baby, and how hard that first year felt. He was not a sleeper and I was up every night with him a number of times, feeding him back to sleep, placing him gently back in his cot, and creeping out without making a sound. I distinctly remember getting back into bed each time and so often thinking “please God don’t let him wake up for the rest of the night.” Or “please God help him sleep through.” Over and over, night after night this went on. For the first year in fact. Begging for more sleep “Please God let me get more sleep.”
This time around things are different. I still get woken up multiple times a night by various children, but as I get back into bed, each time my thoughts are more along the lines of “Thank you, God.”
I have so much to be thankful for every single day and I’m finally acknowledging it. I was trying to keep a daily gratitude journal but the forced writing just annoyed me. I love this way much more. Even though there’s no record of my gratitude, I’m feeling it in my heart more and more. I’m appreciating things more. It has been such a small shift in my way of thinking but it’s making a huge difference.
Thank you God for my beautiful children.
Thank you God for my friend Jess coming up to help me this weekend.
Thank you God for Jess doing my three baskets full of folding.
Thank you God that I’ve been able to feed all of my babies with no trouble.
Thank you God for Hubs who is such a wonderful man and fantastic Dadda.
And the list goes on. I truly have all the treasures I could ever ask for.
It’s been slow and glorious with Hubs around for the last three weeks and Mum before that. We are soaking up all the goodness. My little super hero.
We had quite a crowd of friends over today to officially welcome him (show day holiday up here) and wet his head. Brunch turned into lunch which turned into afternoon drinks which turned into dinner for the kids and us saying goodbye to the last people around 7pm. Just the kind of day we love.
Random edition
1. Quinn spilled some of her chocolate ice cream on her foot last night while watching our Friday night movie. I thought I had cleaned it all up. This morning the kids were running around and she scraped her foot and insisted it was bleeding and that she needed a band-aid. I was busy with Julius and (knowing it wasn’t serious by the lack of screaming and “the tone”) I asked Chance to get the band-aid she was asking for. When I went in a few minutes later, I saw that the “blood” was actually the “chocolate ice cream” from last night. She was adamant. I let her put her two band-aids on and called it a win.
2. We were chatting to our neighbour who has some time off next week and was trying to decide where to travel to. We suggested a few places, when Hubs chimed it. “You know what the best holiday I’ve had in the last five years has been?” A few things sprang to mind for me – the week in Melbs without the kids being at the top of my list. His answer? “The last two weeks here at home.” I almost burst. It was just the loveliest thing to hear.
3. I don’t want Hubs to go back to work, like ever. I can honestly say that the last two weeks have, in fact, been two of the best weeks of our family life. He has been his usual superstar Dadness, doing the school run every morning and afternoon, parenting Quinn and Darby for the rest of the day, taking the kids to the playground after school, and just generally doing anything and everything I ask of him. I know that in the first few weeks of having a baby that a lot of Dads are “expected” to do these things, and maybe it’s nothing special, but honestly it’s times like these that I know I chose the right man to spend my life with. And look, of course he has driven me absolutely crazy at times with his ways of doing things, but that’s life isn’t it!? I know I have driven him equally crazy, but at the end of every day, there are cuddles and kisses and loving words, and that’s what matters the most.
4. The phrase “Mama we need you” is never a good thing for me to hear.
5. I really want to grow herbs but I know that my laziness and apathy towards any kind of plant-related matters will always be my downfall.
6. Darby’s toilet training is going surprisingly and exceptionally well. We have been nappy-free (except for nap and sleep time) for a week with only one accident. Compared to Chance’s toilet-training experience, (aka disaster on my part) the thought of which brings a twitch to my eye, this is a breeze. Fingers crossed!
Captain Underpants in all his glory, with two of his “poo toys” (Gups from Octonauts)
7. It’s getting “cold” up here. Ha ha ha.
8. Chance had told me that it was “dress like a Pirate day” at school on Friday, but it wasn’t until 11:30am on Friday that I saw the email (from the day before) reminding me about it. He hadn’t dressed like a pirate and I felt really bad that I hadn’t remembered. So I decided to take his pirate shirt in, and “be his hero” (inspired by this post from Kelly at Be a Fun Mum) and the smile on his face was totally worth it.
Don’t have a photo of pirate day, but here’s a cute photo of Chance and Darby playing the “cuddle game”.
9. People without kids just don’t get what it’s like to have kids, and that is okay. It’s really okay. I’ve finally come to a place of peace about that. I know I didn’t get it until we had Chance, even though I thought I would understand, and I don’t know what it’s like to parent a teenager (yet), even though I have kids of my own. I guess it’s true of any life circumstances; until you experience it first hand, it’s hard to know exactly what it’s like.
10. Aaaaaaaaaah my baby Julius. I am so in love with this little man. I said to Hubs the other day that I wondered if it would still be such a big deal for me when it’s baby number four, and it just totally is. I cannot get enough of his little face and tiny feet and baby hands and lamby-cry. I am just so bat-shit crazy in love with him. I stare at him and wonder; will he be like either of his brothers, who are so incredibly different from each other? Will he be like his sister? His Dadda? What will he pick up from me? Or will he just be completely different from all of us? I’m just in awe of this gorgeous little beauty that Hubs and I brought into the world. It’s nice to feel that feeling all over again, I have to say.
I “should” just do whatever I want; whatever makes me happy; everyone else be damned.
Okay so that may be overstating the fact a little, but I made a choice today that my former self would not have. I decided to stay home and hang out with Darby instead of going to the indoor play area. I know he would have loved it but being in the middle of toilet training at the moment, and having Jules with me as well, I just didn’t have the mental or physical energy for it today.
So we just hung out. While Julius slept, we read stories, drank cups of tea, and he did all of his business on the toilet!!!! It was such a lovely morning with him and we just don’t get to have much time together where I’m not racing about trying to get things done.
I made the decision to just be with him today and it was the best.
Cheers little man. You are freaking delightful!
Poor Julius. He is such the 4th child…
Hubs’ mum came up for the weekend for a grandkid fix and new baby snuggles. It’s always lovely having family around and the kids had a great time. There was a lot of this action…
We headed out to the Heritage Village yesterday for their open day and saw lots of cool stuff.
I think Hubs is quietly suggesting that we’d had enough fire engine bell…
There was also a bit of sitting around drinking coffee and wine and eating good food with good company. My favourite kind of weekend!
Thanks for visiting, Ouma!
A day in the life…
5:30am Hubs alarm goes off for crossfit.
6:00am I’m joined in bed by Chance. Darby has been there since 10pm the night before when he rolled out of his bed.
6:30am Get up and feed Julius while my superstar Chance makes breakfast for him and “the kids”. (Beaming!)
7:15am Hubs comes home to join the fun.
7:15-8:30am Kids make all good choices and have lots of baby cuddles and get ready for the day.
8:30am Hubs does the Chance school run with three big kids.
9:00am Hubs takes Q & D to indoor sports centre where they have an inflatable play set up.
9:00-11:30am I feed Jules and put him to bed about 7 times while doing Woollies online shopping. Decide to call it and just have snuggles. He’s asleep at 11:30am.
11:30-12:30 Pop in visit from rellies driving through town. Hubs returns with kids and Darby goes to sleep at 12.
12:30 Feed Jules again and put him down for a sleep at 1.
1:00pm I decide to have a bit of a nap.
1:00-2:45pm Hubs and Quinny play downstairs.
3:05pm I wake up from my nap. Hubs is doing school pick up. I wake Darby up. (3 hours is enough for you buddy!)
3:15pm Chance comes home and Hubs has to drop something off at work. Takes Quinny for the walk.
3:15-4:15pm I have a lovely hour with my three boys who are all being delightful.
4:15pm Hubs gets home. They have been to the op-shop across the road from the hospital. Quinn has two new pairs of jeans and a new shirt as well as a comic book. Chance doesn’t do his nut because he didn’t get anything. I’m genuinely surprised and incredibly pleased!
4:30-5:30pm We do a house tidy for the cleaner tomorrow morning. Everyone pitches in and no fuss is made. Feeling proud.
5:30pm The kids get to watch Wallace and Gromit for all their efforts while I finish off cooking the roast lamb. G & T time for Hubs.
6:00pm Kids sit down to eat dinner and actually eat their dinner.
6:30pm Bath time for all. They are having too much fun to get out.
7:00pm Out of Bath and story time.
7:30pm All in bed and apart from Darby being a bit cheeky, all asleep by 8:00pm. Mama and Dadda get to have dinner. Jules continues to snack.
8:30 Kitchen cleaned, Jules in bed, shower time for me.
9:00pm All six family members in bed and it’s time to blog.
It’s nothing too exciting, and what I didn’t mention was that Darby weed on the floor twice and Quinn had about an hour of driving me crazy with her “acting out” but the good far far far outweighed the bad, and Hubs and I looked at each other at the end of today and agreed that today was a good day. I have two blissful weeks of Hubs at home to help us adjust to life with four kids and I’m not even thinking about him going back to work at this stage. Just enjoying all of us being together.
It’s taken me four babies to finally realise something.
No one is to blame, but the words people use have a powerful and lasting effect on a first-time mum.
When I was pregnant with Chance, and shortly after he was born, I was warned about the first six weeks. And then the following six weeks.
I was pretty much told the first 12 weeks, or the “4th trimester” as it’s sometimes referred to, are really hard work, and I just had to “get through” that time and things will get easier after that.
I’m here to tell you that this time around, I’m not just getting through those first 12 weeks. Because my goodness they are 12 of the most precious weeks to experience and savour in a baby’s life.
There were so many times with Chance and Quinn in particular that I just knuckled down and pushed through without stopping and realising how much I adore the newborn infant baby phase. Like seriously, I can’t get enough of this.
Look at that face. My beautiful Julius Becker is one week old today. It’s nothing and it’s everything. He is already such a huge part of our lives and has taken over our hearts.
So yes, the nights are interrupted by feeds, but also full of cuddles and snuggles. This is just a season of his life and I intend to savour every moment of it.