We welcomed Julius (middle name TBA) to the family at 6pm 18th May. 4.31kg (9lb8oz) feeding beautifully. He’s perfect.
Category: Hubs
10 things on the 10th
Due today!
Reflections on my fourth pregnancy; the good, the bad and the ugly.
1. Itchiness – if there was one thing I could have absolutely done without this pregnancy it would be the hormonal itch on my arms. It was just torture. Some evenings I’d be beside myself with that under-the-skin itchy feeling that had no relief. The last month it has really calmed down but for about 4 months solid it was horrendous.
2. Fitness – I’ve never been particularly fit going into a pregnancy but this time I was all over it and it really has made a difference I feel. I also hope it helps in my recovery and even though I haven’t been able to attend fit mums since 34 weeks I feel stronger than I have in previous pregnancies. Can’t wait to get back!
3. Food – look it hasn’t been great but I’ve done my best. I’ve definitely been treating myself, particularly this last month, but I’m okay with that. I do notice my energy levels waiver when I’m eating rubbish so I need to address that sooner rather than later.
4. Pelvis – my pelvic area seriously loosened up about 6 weeks ago and is definitely ready for a baby to come on through. I just hope it comes good after all is done and dusted!
5. Baby movement – this one has been a doozy. Each subsequent baby has moved more than the previous, I’m guess each one had more room to kick around in than the one before. But this one is ridiculous. It really “comes alive” in the evenings and gives me such a hard time! It’s both lovely and nauseating at the same time. It’s definitely one of my favourite things about being pregnant.
6. Pelvic floor – this gave way the minute I became pregnant. It’s how I knew without even taking the test. Bloody hormones. I’m really really hoping this bounces back after birth as well!!
7. Hormonal swings – you’ll have to ask Hubs about this. I haven’t noticed it much to be honest. Ha ha.
8. Exhaustion – yeah this set in about 6 weeks ago, hence me having to give fit mum’s away for the time being. This baby really is sapping every energy store out of me. And I know it’ll get worse before it gets better.
9. Luscious hair – I’ve always cut my hair short around baby time but this time I have quite long, thick luscious locks and I’m seriously loving it sick!
10. Libido – speaking of good…. Again you’ll have to ask Hubs about this, but a gentleman never tells ???
Come on baby. Time to meet you!
Quinn’s new job
Since Hubs broke his pisiform he hasn’t been able to do up his shirt and vesto buttons. Quinn has volunteered for this job each morning and it’s the cutest damn thing.
Dadda Darby snuggles
While watching “Everything is Awesome” on YouTube.
The Fart Festival
Okay so obviously that’s not the actual name of where we went today, but it’s what Hubs affectionately called Emu Park’s “Festival of the Winds”. There were kites galore!
Apparently it wasn’t “windy enough” for the really big kites.
But the kids didn’t seem to mind.
Yes my kids are adorable in their “town hats”. Watching the kites was just lovely. Being with my family and enjoying the kids excitement makes my heart burst.
But.
I was a bit hesitant about going along to the festival, and when we arrived I knew the reason. Well, the three reasons: expensive rides, rubbish toys, and overpriced food. And my kids wanted it all. It’s not that Hubs and I don’t like having fun, it’s that we’ve forgotten how to.
No wait, that’s not right.
It’s that our idea of fun doesn’t necessarily match up with what our kids think is fun. Fighting crowds to buy tickets to go on dodgem cars? Um no thanks. Spending $5 on a single duck game where all the toys you can win are complete crap? No again from me! All Quinn wanted to do was get her face painted, have a slushie cup and get a whirly-wind toy. I could get behind those things. And Chance wanted a toy of some description, a slushie cup and a ride. And I could get behind two of those things.
Hubs and I had a discussion and decided that he would stay with Darby and watch the kites on the beach while I took the older two back into the mosh pit.
We found the toys (with a bit of drama), bought the slushie cups, but we couldn’t for the life of us find the face painting stall. And I had decided there was no way I was lining up for ride tickets. So of course the kids were disappointed!
I don’t know. I think ever since we moved away from city life I just hate crowds so much! And I feel like no matter what we get the kids, there will always be something else they want as well. It’s just a constant negotiation that I don’t feel is worthwhile.
Perhaps when they are older and have their own money to spend on whatever they like, it will be easier. But I guess that creates a bunch of challenges in itself.
Look the day was fine, there were actually no tears, and at least the kids were happy with their toys.
But.
Give me a nice shady creek for the kids to play in, a packed lunch, a drink or two, and a few other families around and I’ll show you my idea of a great family day out.
It broke
I told Hubs that KFC was bad for him. But did he listen? Nooooooo.
One broken pisiform later and maybe he’ll believe me.
(He was riding his bike home from picking up cheap Tuesday KFC) when his bike seat fell off – yes that’s right, his seat fell off – and he took a nasty spill. Luckily the pisiform, a small bone in the wrist, is considered by some orthopods as “the most useless bone in the body” so no permanent damage done to his operating hand! Good times ahead.)
Pro Shots
Got some pro shots done of bump #4. Just for fun. Haven’t told/shown Hubs yet. Going to get some printed as a surprise. Really happy with them! Will share more laters.
Aaaaah marriage
What an interesting beast. Two people meet, they lust after one another, they fall in love, they can’t imagine ever being angered or pissed off by this person, they get married and WHAM! Reality hits. And it bites.
Now obviously this scenario isn’t true for all couples. Obviously some couples piss each other off much earlier than that.
When Hubs and I got together I remember (and now cringe) genuinely looking at my friends who had been in long term relationships and who were now in that comfortable stage and thinking “I’m so glad we are different.” (Sorry guys!) But here’s the kicker. We’re not. Hubs pisses me off all the time and, I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m no picnic to live with either.
And I totally get why marriages don’t last. (Freudian slip there – I actually typed “laugh” instead of last! Oh boy…) Marriage is haaaaaaaaaard work and unless you are both 100% committed, you’ve got no chance. It’s impossible for both parties to be 100% committed all the time, at the same time as well so I guess there’s just always got to be some desire and commitment to stay together.
And it’s the little things isn’t it? The day to day stuff that, if you don’t accept, will drive you out the door.
Take right now for instance. There is something that Hubs is doing right now that should have already been done but he didn’t want to do earlier and now there is a deadline (9am tomorrow) that is has to be done by. But pointing this out to him adds absolutely no value to our marriage. He knows it. I know it. To say anything would be petty and piss him off. So instead, I’ve done all my evening jobs, poured him an ice cold cider (it’s a laboring job he’s doing for our ensuite) and am drowning out the noise of the compact drill with the sound of satisfaction for taking the high road. And Adele.
It’s something I’m working on – not pointing out his flaws. I used to do it a lot, thinking I was being helpful by suggesting ways he could be more organised or be more tidy. And it’s something he’s never really done to me. I’m hopelessly flawed but he doesn’t try to fix me. He delights in my quirks because they make me who I am.
So in the grand scheme of things, tonight’s quirk matters not. What matters is how we deal with it. And the best way? Every time? Hands down?
Is with kindness. Good old fashioned, sometimes over the top kindness. On that note I might go and see if he needs another cider.
A lesson I need to learn
I am not a control freak by any means. Well I don’t think I am. But when it comes to things around the house, I am definitely, and to me detriment, of the opinion that if I don’t do it myself it won’t be done properly, which will in turn make more work for me so I should just do it myself to begin with.
For the love of my sanity I need to let that go. Hubs and I have a deal that he offers to clean the kitchen each night and I accept when I really need it. Except it’s been literally months since I have taken him up on the offer because he doesn’t do it the way I want him to.
Who cares?????!!!! Done beats perfect, right? Right??? Good grief Charlie Brown!
I am going to have to start not only accepting help but asking for it when baby time draws closer. I’m already struggling to keep up with the vacuuming so when my darling Chance was desperate to help me vacuum today I took him up on his offer. Sure it took twice as long and since I was the one picking everything up off the floor it was actually more work for me, but I want to get the kids involved in the upkeep if the house.
I’m not the only one living here so I should not be the only one keeping it clean and tidy. And Hubs needs to lead by example so next time he offers I’ll be saying yes please.
And I will not find something else to do other than plonk myself on the couch. And blog.
10 things on the 10th
10 things about me that I’m sure drive Hubs crazy
1. I change my mind. A lot. Sometimes mid-sentence.
Sometimes we will have decided on a certain course of action, and then I’ll go away and decide that we should do it a different way, and sometimes maybe I forget to tell him about the new plan. Ha ha. Lucky for him, I changed my mind about having another baby. (He always wanted 4 or 5 or +++ but I had to come around.)
2. I ask him to do numerous tasks and expect them all to be done at once.
An example – I’ll ask him to upload some photos to the computer, and get a movie ready for the kids for Friday family movie night, and to take the rubbish downstairs, and to help Chance tidy up the Lego. Then 10 minutes later I’ll ask if he’s done.
3. I rush him.
I have this unrealistic expectation and desire that I arrive at everything “on time”. Even if there is no real “on time”. Hubs has taken to asking me “is it possible to be late for this event?” ie is there even a starting time? He has very little sense of urgency or concept of time and I know that he hates to be rushed for no good reason.
4. I complain a lot about the heat. And being tired all the time. And lots of other things.
I’m really working on my complaining. As in, I’m trying to not complain so damn much. It’s a waste of breath, it’s counter-productive and it changes nothing. It also exacerbates the situation – if I complain I’m tired instead of just getting on with things, I feel more tired, and so on.
5. I have a tendency to overreact to things sometimes.
I’m kind of a “react now, think after” kind of girl. Instead of taking a moment to evaluate, I have a tendency towards the dramatics.
6. I get cranky.
Sometimes my mood can change very quickly (I currently blame hormones!!) and Hubs is like “ummm what the heck just happened?” Then I have to try and snap out of it. Something I don’t like to do!
7. I hang my bags on the backs of chairs.
This one is just funny. Even though Hubs isn’t the tidiest Hubs in the world, he has organised piles of things and he hates things hanging on the backs of chairs/on door handles/on curtain rods. Ha ha. I’m such a shocker for this one.
8. When I tidy up I don’t necessarily put things exactly where they should go – I’m more of a stuff ‘n go kind a gal. Hey, it works for me!
9. I sometimes undercook his toast.
This one is a funny one. He told me after we had only been together for a few months, when I had made him a piece of “warm bread” as he describes it now, that he likes his toast cooked more, and that he’d rather tell me now (then) than have undercooked toast for the rest of his life. Sometimes I do it just to stir him…
10. I can sometimes be over-sensitive to my needs and very insensitive to his.
I always considered myself a very sensitive person, but I do know I can be very sensitive to my own needs and feelings and disregard others. Something I have definitely worked on over the years.
I’m lucky he’s such a patient man!