S05E14 Leslie and Ben

February 17, 2017 / Renae / 1 Comment

Aw my gawsh. I know I was a little late coming to the Parks and Recreation party but better late than never. I just watched The wedding episode and teared up more times than I care to admit! I’m so in love with Leslie and Ben! Seriously too gorgeous!

I think about weddings a lot, sporadically being in the business and I came across this article today that honestly made me seethe. The upshot is that brides are being “forced” to spend up to $150,000 on their weddings to keep up with the “demands” of social media.

Give. Me. Strength.

The bride to be in this article is spending $24,500 on her flowers for goodness sake! My flowers cost a total of $500 and that included me and Hubs, four maids and groomsmen, and our grandmas and maybe even our parents!?

What the actual do you get for the extra $24,000???? Who the hell are these people!? And don’t even get me started on the $15,000 dress.

I honestly just don’t get it. I mean each to their own but going into that much debt for one day seems absurd to me. Maybe Daddy is paying for the whole affair – who knows. Not once was the groom mentioned by the way.

I get that different people want to do things their own way. I’m sure there were some people who thought our wedding was huge (170 at the reception) and compared to many it was big but I can assure you it didn’t cost anything close to $150k. We did a lot of stuff ourselves and really didn’t splurge on anything too crazy. And it was such a great day and night.

Hard to believe it will be 10 years ago this December. I’d better get Hubs thinking about some ideas early. Ha!

And of course here’s some wedding photos just because this is my blog and I can do whatever I want.

Tiny pre-baby waist! Ha Ha

Ah what a good looking bunch. Still in touch and in love with them all xxx

A dread-less Hubs! Not seen in 9 years this Easter. Good times. Good times.

When there’s too much to say

August 3, 2016 / Renae / Leave a comment

I feel this constant nagging, tapping on my shoulder. “You haven’t blogged in a while” it says. I have so much to say and share but nowhere to begin or end. There’s no huge announcement; no big realisations; no milestones to report; it’s just life. Life in all its monotony and mundane, and all its joy and abundance.

I’m sitting here on some very lush grass in Brisbane city waiting for my friend to arrive for a catch up. All the day-to-day happenings of the last 10 days are swirling around in my head but there’s nothing mind blowing to report. I want to document these things on my blog for nostalgia but I’m so tired of blogging from my phone. The photos take an age top upload and typing is tedious.

I found myself (actually carefully planned to be) child and husband free today. I started off by hitting up a few op shops and then had, I dare say, the BEST pedicure I’ve ever had (at Ella Bache Paddington for those playing at home.) The foot and leg massage went for a solid 20 minutes and I very nearly fell asleep I was so relaxed. I also bought a new pair of Birks.

How cute am I right?!

I then had lunch with this lovely lady

Before wandering into town for my 3rd coffee of the day and a stroll around. Which leads me to this grassy patch. And since the photos are taking no time at all to load, I’m going to share with you my last 10 or so days before I met up with my friend. Enjoy.

Road trip!

Nanna time!

The double scoop with free topping seemed like a good idea at the time. It was not.

This man. This achievement.

A visit with these ladies and this little guy. So much history here!

Am amazing day on the water watching whales with my crazy family. Such a great day.

Getting these two kids back together for a two hour run around in the playground.

Cuddles with cousins

And sisters (practically)

And a night alone with Hubs.

It’s now Wednesday morning (I got distracted halfway through writing that post) and I’m enjoying my last few hours on my own. I’m about to hit up some brunch before heading back to pack up. We hit the road tomorrow to head back to Rocky and even though it’s been an amazing holiday it’s always great to get home. It’s been lovely catching up and until next time xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A new morning routine

July 5, 2016 / Renae / Leave a comment

It’s been in the pipeline for some time now. Our old routine went a bit like this:

I would be half-awake by 5am-ish with at least 3 of us in our bed, sometimes 4 and sometimes 5 of us. I’d check my phone and hope that I could drift on back to dreamy-land for the next hour, but know deep down that there was little chance of that happening. Kids would start stirring a bit before 6am, Hubs and I would both ignore them and will them to either leave us alone for “just 5 more minutes” or get themselves out of bed. Then Hubs would start catching up on the daily happenings on his phone while I threw the covers off in a huff of “FINE! I’LL GET UP THEN!!!!!”

Not an ideal start to anyone’s day, right? Hubs would then be rushing to get to work on time, and I would be in a cranky mood after being kicked out of bed so rudely. We would often say to each other “we really need to get out of bed earlier” but neither of us are morning people, and our hearts just weren’t in it. So this has been going on for a looooonnnnng time and we definitely got to breaking point.

So something had to change. We discussed what our plan was going to be, and even though it’s early days, it’s going very well. My alarm goes off at 6:05am, and I immediately get out of bed. I have my socks and dressing gown waiting for me, and I go and make a cup of tea for Hubs and a coffee for myself. I take that to Hubs and wake him up so he can read his news in bed while the kids wake up and I prepare for breakfasts. We pretty much all have something different:

Me: boiled egg on toast (I always have boiled eggs in our fridge as it saves me time)
Frith: either a mango smoothie or some leftovers on toast
Chance: 2 weet-bix with honey
Quinn: whatever tickles her fancy which can range from porridge to weet-bix to mini weet-bix to cereal, to mango smoothie, and usually some of Dadda’s toast
Darby: used to also be a 2 weet-bix guy (without the honey) but is now super fussy in the morning. Usually wants to eat whatever I have, or eat his food sitting on my lap.

Riveting stuff, I know. So while I’m preparing brekky and enjoying my coffee in relative peace, Darby stumbles out of our bed (somehow he has been sleeping in our bed for a few months now!!) and comes and finds me. It’s actually really cute – I have the kitchen light on in the morning as it’s still dark til almost 7 (the sun has to come up over Mount Archer before we get to see it) and I get a glimpse of what teenage-Darby is going to look like – stumbling around in a onesie (gosh I hope not) and shielding his eyes from the blinding light, mumbling incoherently. Aaaah bliss.

Sunrise from our back stairs. This is 6:30am.

The extra, interrupted 20 or 30 minutes of rubbish sleep is nothing compared to waking up on my own terms and starting the day well. My sister-in-law told me years ago that a good start to the morning involved getting up before your kids, but a) I didn’t want to believe her and b) I didn’t want to get out of bed even a minute earlier than was absolutely necessary. I get it now. This is my time. And getting up is on my terms which makes me much less cranky.

Just ask Hubs…

A shout out

June 18, 2016 / Renae / 1 Comment

Today I got what I feel was the biggest validation of my life as a wife and mum.

Let me back it up a bit.

My dear friend who has just moved to Rocky asked if I could help out by looking after her two gorgeous daughters, aged 4ish and 2ish for a few hours today. No problem, I said. I knew that Hubs was around this weekend and would be only happy to help out too. While the youngest slept, Hubs took Chanbe down to our friend’s place for a play, and offered to take Darby, Quinn and my friend’s oldest daughter for the walk, while I stayed with the sleeping 2-year-old. Except he didn’t come home. He sent me a text to tell me that he’d also picked up our other friend’s 3-year-old and they were heading to the park.

Not long after, I received this photo and a text that read: “I don’t see what the big deal is with 4.”

Hubs just goes about parenting without the drama. When I head to the park, I pack water bottles, food, nappy bag and sometimes toys, and I drive there. When Hubs heads to the park, he walks out the gate with the kids in the pram, and sometimes takes a nappy bag. He spent the whole afternoon there, and the kids had a blast, while I had the house to myself and 1 toddler to look after once she woke up from her nap.

I didn’t have to ask Hubs to do it. He didn’t have to do it. He just did it because he knew the kids would have fun and I would get a bit of a break.

And it gets better.

When he got home, and the girls had been picked up, and after he had walked down to pick up Chance, I went to give him the biggest hug and thank him for his efforts. And he said something like this:

“I honestly don’t know how you do this every single day, honey. I was walking home and thought if I had to cook dinner when I got home after this, we’d have Maccas every night, and I’d buy new clothes for the kids every day cos there’s no way I’d want to do the washing as well. And you have a grumpy husband who asks you what you’ve been doing all day long when he gets home from work and bugs you for sex at night after you’ve put the kids to bed by yourself because I’m too tired from work. I can’t believe you do this every day.”

I almost cried. And I’m almost crying as I type this. He gets it. Today he got a taste of my life and instead of trying suggest how I could maybe do things better, he empathised and he got it. And as a stay at home mum to three kids, and a devoted wife to a budding orthopaedic surgeon, there was no greater gift he could have given me.

This Man. And he’s pretty easy on the eye to boot 🙂

A happy mothers day

May 12, 2016 / Renae / Leave a comment

Simple. Easy. A bit relaxing. That’s all we ever really want isn’t it? Hubs has been working pretty much every day lately so I assured him that I didn’t mind going out and buying my own mothers day gifts this year. I picked out a couple of new shirts and a few other things I’d been eyeing off. All I asked was for a yummy brekky and some time to myself.

I didn’t snap any photos of the yummy brekky but Hubs delivered as always. And we had our friend and 2 of her boys over to join in as her hubby was away at the time.

We just spent the rest of the day pottering about and I got to do some baking which was awesome. We headed to the neighbours for arvo tea and then I had to drop Hubs off at the airport to go to Brisbane for a course for 2 nights. We stayed at the neighbours house for baked beans dinner so by the time we got home it was time for bed!

Yummy cupcakes

Squashy cuddles (see that spoon? I bribed Quinn with more icing if she sat in the photo with us. Oh yeah.)

Hubs was a bit apologetic that it was a bit of a nothing day, but I assured him I had a lovely day and that the ending was the best.

Kids in bed, leftover garlic mushrooms on toast for dinner, house to myself, a glass of bubbly, and some Nashville to catch up on. What more could a Mama want?

Today, I win

March 11, 2016 / Renae / Leave a comment

If you have a partner, and have children, and one of you leaves the house each day to go to work while the other stays home with the children, you will inevitably have had the “who has it easier” thoughts/discussions/fights, and if you haven’t then you’re either a saint or it’s simmering under the surface, waiting to erupt when your partner leaves his breakfast bowl on the table yet again, even though your five and three year olds can manage to PUT THEIRS IN THE DAMN SINK!!!

Right. Where was I?

Aaaah yes. That moment in the morning, when everything is peaceful; where the children have pleasantly eaten their breakfast, are playing quietly, and your partner sighs and says “you’re so lucky that you get to stay at home with them and play all day.” You grit your teeth, because some days what you would rather be doing is literally anything else. You look at your (I’m sure well-meaning partner) and say “you’re so lucky you get to go to work and be productive and interact with other adults and not have to wipe anyone’s bum but your own and drink hot coffee and not be in this house all day because your baby boy has explosive diarrhea!”

Then there are the other days when chaos is taking over the world and your partner looks at you with sympathy and says “see ya!”

And that’s the problem. Even when the stay at home parent is victorious in the “who has it harder game” the other parent still gets to walk away, albeit the loser, but there they go. Off to work.*

So yes folks, today I win the “who has it harder” game. But the victory is fleeting, because I still have to deal with said explosive diarrhea and not go to the gym in case he spreads it (literally, in every sense of the word) which is such a drag for me because you know how much I look forward to my twice weekly fit mums class.

But YAY LOOK AT ME! I’M THE WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*you may be able to tell from my tone, that I believe I’m always the winner of the “who has it harder” game, but I let Hubs thinks he has won every now and then 🙂

1000 words

February 11, 2016 / Renae / 1 Comment

Back to where it all began.

We’ve been in Melbourne for less than 48 hours and it feels like we never left. How is that possible? Since leaving the city almost six years ago, we have moved house seven times and had three kids. That’s a lot of life changes by anyone’s standards.

Maybe I just want to feel like I never left. This is a week of freedom for Hubs and I; to live it up and do whatever we please. We’ve been reminiscing like crazy and going to all our favourite places. Just like old times.

Moving to Melbourne was a real turning point in my life, and so much has happened because of that decision to move. Hubs broached the subject of him wanting to study down here when we first got together and I’m pretty sure my thoughts were “noooooooo! I don’t want to leave Brisbane! Nanny will be devastated!” Outwardly I would have been much cooler I’m sure.

Five months later, in May 2007, we took a trip down here “just to check it out”. Oh and Frith had his interview with Melbourne uni. After spending some time in the city, and meeting his gorgeous family down here, I was sold. I was also thinking a certain question might be popped during our visit, but he had other plans for that the following month.

A bit over a year later, at the end of a long, cold, amazingly fun trip down in the kombi, we arrived as husband and wife. And a few days later I started this blog. All of our highs and lows and in-betweens have been documented here. I never thought I would keep it up for so long but blogging is just a part of my life now. I had talked about starting a blog for months, but it wasn’t until we moved that I actually felt the urge to begin.

Melbourne changed me, and for the better I believe. It was time for me to get out on my own, with my new husband; my new family, by my side. We were a unit the two if us; in love, invincible; and in Melbourne.

The first six months were hard. I went from having social engagements every night in Brisbane, to no friends and nothing to do in Melbourne. Frith made friends easily through medicine, and while they knocked off at midday on a Friday and headed to the pub, I was working full time to support us. Resentment crept in. Jealousy tapped me on the shoulder. Feelings I never thought possible towards my shiny new, perfect husband surfaced.

For the most part I ignored those feelings; pushed them deep down and put on a smiling face. But a few too many wines would bring it all bubbling to the surface and everything would come pouring out. Once the booze wore off, and we were able to communicate like adults, Hubs would make me spill my guts. Everything. All my insecurities, my suspicions were all heard out and all reassured. We were still new at this thing called marriage. We had to work out our own path and figure out what worked for us.

Reality had set in and not all was perfect. But that’s what marriage is all about. Being perfect for each other, and doing the very best you can. Being your own person and not trying to be someone you’re not, just to please your spouse. I was trying to be everything Hubs wanted me to be, when all I had to do was to be myself. That’s who he fell in love with. The cat was well and truly out of the bag before we got married – he knew I wasn’t perfect and he loved me for it.

I just had to learn to love myself a little more. I had to figure out who I was without my family and friends around to define me. This took some time, and it turns out I’m still a work in progress. But I’ve learnt to love the process and the journey, and not just try and skip to the end result.

So as I walk around Melbourne now, dropping in on familiar places that feel like old friends, I remember Renae from 2008 and I reassure her that things are working out pretty well. I tell her that she and Hubs will never stop disagreeing on things, but that we always sort things out and get stronger. I tell her that even though she has to move around a lot, the adventures that follow make it worthwhile. I tell her to enjoy her sleep-ins and hot coffees, because once the kids come, they are the first things to go.

I tell her about the friends she will meet and the people who she will stay in touch with; it will surprise her who makes the effort to keep in contact. I tell her that she might want to stop at three children and not have four or five like they always talk about, but I know she’ll never believe me. I tell her how Hubs is a wonderful father but she already knows that.

I tell her that Nanny will never get to meet her great-granddaughter and that will upset her. A lot. Especially when her middle name is Maria, and she reminds her of Nanny everyday.

I tell her not to worry so much about what is to come; to trust Hubs more, as he always comes through with the goods. I remind her to tell Hubs everyday how much he is loved. He puts on a tough exterior, but, just like her, he needs to know.

So as I sit here staring at the bottom of another cup of coffee, waiting for Hubs to finish his GSSE, and wondering where life will take us next, I am grateful that we started our journey here in this beautiful city, full of incredible people and memories.

We’ll always have Melbourne.

When husbands help

January 20, 2016 / Renae / Leave a comment

In case you missed the news, Hubs is off for 3 weeks on study leave. Having him at home for this study can be tricky, as I can’t really help myself – if I know he’s there, I’ll offer him endless cups of tea or interrupt him for “just a sec” which is infuriating I’m sure when you’re in the study zone. So I’ve been trying very hard to just leave the house with the kids as much as possible.

The wonderful thing is, Hubs has been getting up with the kids in the morning and doing the breakfast shift while I catch a few more precious zzzz’s. But this morning, thing went a bit awry.

When you’re on your own most mornings from 7am, you get into certain routines with the kids; routines that are essential for getting out the ~~damn~~ door in the morning. On a kindy morning, this means getting up around 6am, having brekky together, cleaning up, packing lunches (if I haven’t done it the night before) (I never do it the night before. Wait… I think I did it once and thought “I should do 1this all the time!), packing kindy bags and heading out the door by 8am. Most of the time, we do it pretty well, but this morning was a disaster.

Hubs offered to walk the kids to kindy, but there was a lot more stuffing around and they didn’t set off until 8:30am, by which time Chance had started building something with his Lego and made it very clear that he did not want to go to kindy today.

After trying to negotiate, be understanding, talk about all the great things he would get to do, there was no budging him. Then the screaming and wailing and gnashing of teeth began.

It was not a smooth drop-off to say the least. Thankfully I got the “it’s all good” text half an hour later. This is what happens when we stray from the routine people!!

Happy birthday to me

January 20, 2016 / Renae / Leave a comment

Birthdays are funny things as an adult. Chance was getting very confused as to why there weren’t a dozen huge presents to open, since that’s his recollection of his last birthday I suppose. But for us adults, at least in our household, birthdays go a little something like this.

Breakfast in bed. Hubs makes killer poached eggs and bacon. A great way to start the day.

A bit of bling from Hubs and the kids. This piece is called a “sphere of life”.

We headed out mid-morning to hit some op-shops together as a family. I hit the jackpot with a dress and skirt, both $6 and both brand new with the tags still on them! The kids got a little something each, and Hubs found a couple of things we’d been looking for for a while.

45 minutes of peace to enjoy a hot coffee and some brownie with home made ice cream and NOT SHARE ANY OF IT! Do not underestimate how amazing this time was for me. And excuse that huge pile of old guttering – they are picking that up tomorrow.

I was also spoilt with a surprise cake from my neighbour, and some friends came over with their kids in the afternoon to share it. So so lovely.

An easy dinner for the kids.

Cute kiddies in the tub. It’s getting a bit squeezy in there these days I gotta say…

A special dinner for Hubs and I. Even though I cooked these creamy garlic prawns on rice, topped with basil from our garden, myself, it was still a big treat. Plus I love cooking if it’s the only thing I’m doing at that exact time.

Accompanied by my absolute favourite sparkling white at the moment.

So even though Chance was disappointed with the lack of wrapped presents, all in all it was a lovely day. Hubs and I are saving our celebrating until we get to Melbourne. Then, look out!

Can somebody give me an ommm?

January 7, 2016 / Renae / 2 Comments

I am getting back into yoga this year to benefit my head and my heart and I had my first beginner’s class on Tuesday night. I promised my sister in law I would go twice a week for a month to give it a really good go. I went to a restorative session tonight accidentally, thinking it was the “all levels” class. This entailed maybe 10 poses/stretches all being held for 3-5 minutes each.

A few years ago I would have been bored and annoyed that I was wasting my time and money when I could “easily do this at home for free”. (Ha!) But tonight, I embraced the peace. I’m finally starting to get it; to function at my best and wear all of my hats every day, I need to invest in me. And that doesn’t always have to mean doing something. Tonight I was still and reflective and appreciative of the calm around me.

It’s funny because, as per my blog post earlier today, I have had a lot of energy after my big sleep overnight. I got heaps done and I spent a lot of time just playing with the kids. Chance played with his (Dadda’s) Lego for around three hours today. Three! My point is, I wasn’t frazzled or stressed going into the class and I still feel like I got so much out of it.

The other thing is, I categorically know that there’s no way I would EVER put aside an hour for myself to mediate and stretch, nor would my darling children be able to leave me alone for that long. God love them.

So I’m feeling extremely indulgent at the moment, what with my two fit mum’s classes a week and now two yoga classes. Hubs assures me that he’s happy to support my outrageous lifestyle. I might hay have to cut back my latte-sipping a bit!