Category: Stuff

Oh the irony

/ Renae / 1 Comment

Last night, Chanbe slept through. And I don’t mean the technical version of sleeping through which is a 5 hour block. I mean, he didn’t wake up. But I did. He went to sleep around 8:30pm and was a bit restless, so I assumed we were in for another usual night of waking up every 2 hours. I crashed around 11pm thinking that he’d be waking up any minute now, just as I get to sleep he’ll wake up.

I woke up and wondered why I hadn’t been woken up by my son’s crying and I looked at the clock. 3am. Wha????? I lay there for a good 5 minutes, excited by this victory, and I didn’t even worry (that much) that there was something wrong. But there was something wrong. With me. Because I’m still feeding Chanbe all through the night, and I hadn’t fed him for almost 7 hours (count it people!!!! I wish I’d gone to bed at 8:30 too….) I was full. And in quite a bit of pain. I spent the next 20 minutes looking for my manual breast pump to ease the pain and discomfort. By this stage Hubs had woken up and was trying to get back to sleep while I was fretting around.

He said I had 2 options. Firstly, I could set up the electric pump and use that, (tooooo haaaaarrrd) or I could go and give Chanbe a dream feed (but but but what if he wakes up????) I chose the second option and was in and out in 5 minutes with him barely stirring. He did his job well, and apart from me knocking something over on the way out and almost waking him up, it went very well indeed. It was 3:45am by then. I could go back to sleep!!!

Except I couldn’t. I know that this is more Alanis Morissette irony than actual irony, but there I was, with a baby who was sleeping through the night for the first time in months and months, and I couldn’t sleep. My mind was racing. I worked out that I had left my breast pump at my friend’s house in Wang, and thought about my sleeping baby. Would this happen again? Was I finally past the 2-hourly wake-ups? The last time I looked at the clock it was 4:30 so I figure I got to sleep some time before 5.

Chanbe woke up for good at 6:15 and after some play time in bed, Hubs took him for a walk so I could get some more sleep. I wonder what tonight will bring!?

Redefining

/ Renae / 1 Comment

I’ve taken a bit of a step back from my blogging lately. This hasn’t been an entirely intentional decision on my part. I just haven’t been feeling it. A few times I’ve thought “I could blog about that” but nothing has come of it. So I decided to read some new blogs, to get some inspiration; to get the creative juices flowing again. Trouble is, the more blogs I read, the less I felt like writing. I feel like it’s all being said by other people, so why bother saying it myself? And then if I get an idea from someone else’s blog, is that plagiarism? There are just SO many bloggers out there these days, particularly mummy bloggers, which I don’t necessarily consider myself one of, but there are many.

My main purpose for this blog is to document our life in a non-facebook medium, so other people, mainly family and friends, can keep track of our adventures. I guess the more blogs I read, the more I felt a need to write things that people might find interesting. But what people? My intended audience are people who know us and want to know what we’re up to. And even though I am by no means a competitive person, I felt pressure to “do better”.

There is a lot going on in our lives at the moment, but it’s mainly around back-and-forth travel between MB and Wang; something I’m already sick of, and I’m certainly sick of talking about it and how sick I am of it. I thought I had been coping with it okay, and all throughout October, I have been looking forward to being at home in MB for November. Cos that’s what Hubs said would probably be the case. Turns out, The University of Melbourne’s Faculty of Medicine, Rural Clinical School, hates us. Hubs has to travel back to Wang for 3 days a week for 3 weeks. When Hubs told me that news tonight, I almost lost my sh*t.

It’s not his fault, I know that, but I was really really looking forward to some home time. To not having to pack a suitcase; to trying to teach Chanbe some good sleeping habits (like, you know, actually sleeping for more than 2-3 hours at a time) but this seems like a waste of time if we’re just going to drag him back to Wang again for a few random nights here and there.

Wanna know some good news? (Pleeeeease Wifey!!!!!!!!!!) Hubs’ Mum arrived today and she’ll be with us til next Wednesday, and my parents arrive the same Wednesday and stay for 2 weeks. Which means? Extra sleep for Wifey. And of course, lovely, precious time for Chanbe to spend with his grandparents. It might also mean I’ll be back on deck a bit with the ol’ blogging.

I have some things to share, but I don’t quite have the words as yet.

Letting go

/ Renae / Leave a comment

For a few months now, we have been teaching Chanbe how to “let go”. Like when he grabs a fist full of my hair  and gives it a big tug, if we say in a firm, but kind tone “let go”, he usually does. And of course we follow that up with “good letting go!” to encourage this behaviour.

If only it were that easy for adults. There are so many things that I want to “let go”, and I wish all it took was for my Mum or Dad or Hubs to say in a firm, but kind tone “let go”. Things like memories of times I’ve been hurt, or harsh words that I have spoken to people in anger or frustration, or things. So many things in our house I wish I could just let go, but hold onto just in case I might need them one day. Is it the same with feelings? Do I hold on to them just in case I need them one day? In case I need to remember the hurt; to punish the person who wronged me, or to punish myself for what I’ve said?

With all our to-ing and fro-ing we’ve been doing lately, I wish I didn’t have to bring so much stuff with us, but I bring so much “just in case.” Yeuch. It’s something else I’m working on. So much work to do, so many distractions…