It’s been a while

September 29, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

The kids and I arrived in Brisbane today. Dad picked us up from the airport and brought us back to Woody Pt for lunch and cuddles with Gran. And soon we will be heading to my wonderful friend’s place to stay with them for the week. The kids are crazy excited about that. As am I.

We haven’t seen Gran and Grumpy since Darby’s baptism, and I can’t even remember when we stayed with them last.

It’s been too long.

I’m not ashamed to say that when we stay here I get spoilt rotten. I get sleep ins, I don’t do any washing or cooking or cleaning, and I do minimal parenting. It’s a genuine break for me and I’ve really missed it this year.

I might have to book in some time soon.

The flight down was great – the kids were perfect and it was smooth sailing the whole way. I’m looking forward to being with my people this week.

Might see you round 🙂

Please don’t tell me you’re busy…

September 22, 2015 / Renae / 2 Comments

… and then apologise because you don’t have kids; or you “only” have one or two kids; and then say that I must be heaps busier because I “have three kids”.

It doesn’t work like that.

I was just as busy, if not busier, with no kids, before I was married. It was just a different busy – there were more social engagements to fit in; I worked full-time and everything else had to fit in around that; I lived close to family which meant a lot more catch-ups and regular events to attend.

I was just as busy with “only” one baby. There’s no such thing as “only” when it comes to having kids. One child can take up your entire day, just as much as three or more can.

And it works with parents of more than three children. I wouldn’t say to them “well you must be heaps busier than me because I only have three kids.” They know what it’s like to have three kids. It’s busy.

I really believe we are all as busy as we want to be. To be honest, I have a lot of time during the day when I’m not doing anything. I’m sitting, watching my children, thinking “I could be blah blah blahing but I’m just too tired/lazy/couldn’t be bothered moving from my comfy chair right now.”

Like right now, there are two overflowing baskets of clean, folded laundry (bliss!) to be put away, but here I am. The dining room table needs clearing (a 10 minute job) but here I am. There’s a mountain of sorting and filing to be done… you get the picture. My sore throat of three weeks has turned into a head cold, so I’m giving myself the night off from housework. Thankfully, Hubs has tomorrow off, so I can rest up and get back on my feet.

Our house is pretty much always in a state of disarray, and it’s not because we have three children, it’s because I’m not a particularly tidy person, and I’d much rather spend my time doing other things. Like blogging. Or baking. Or playing Lego.

I accepted not so long ago, that I can try and clean and tidy all day long in between giving the kids attention, but then I’m doing a half-arsed job of parenting and housekeeping. I’d rather do one job well, and I’ll bet you can guess which one that is.

So please don’t compare your busy-ness to mine, or make it into a competition. We have very different lives, and I want to hear about how we’re in the same boat, even if it’s in different seas.

Now. I’m going to make myself a cup of camomile and go to bed.

What’s keeping you busy these days?

The fog is lifting somewhat

September 10, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

Today is the first day in a few weeks that I’ve felt more like myself. I’ve had a few days where I’ve had a sleep while the kids are sleeping (1-2 hours) and a few nights with only three wake-ups between the three kids. Actually, last night it was just Chanbe (once) and Darby-doo (twice). Quindy is sleeping through like a champ. Two weeks and three nights ago, we started gently encouraging the kids to sleep in their own beds “all night long”. Somehow, about 5 months ago, they both got into the habit of coming into our bed during the night and sleeping there for the remainder of the night. I’m not going to lie. Hubs and I were quite enjoying all the snuggle-time with the four of us in our big, warm, king-size bed. But about a month ago, it was just becoming ridiculous.

Chanbe would lie across the bed and kick Hubs half the night; Quindy would wake up at 3am and want to look at the photos on my phone; and Darby-doo was getting woken up with all the hullabaloo, and wanting to be boobed back to sleep. Of course.

So I sat them down on the Monday morning, after a particularly ridiculous night’s “sleep” and gently explained to them that it was time they started sleeping in their own beds “all night long.” I told them that if they wake up and would like a cuddle, to call out to me and I would come in to them. We talked about it a fair bit that day, and I set up some incentive milestones – for one night, they got a little surprise (I can’t even remember what it was now – maybe a piece of chocolate with morning tea???); for one week, they got a toy (Chanbe got Dusty Crophopper, fire and rescue plane and Quindy got a Peppa Pig phone) and for one month, they will get a bigger surprise (yet to be determined. Most likely Lego of some sort.)

And it has worked. The first week was really hard going, with wake ups/cuddle requests/feeding 1-2 hourly; the second week brought some good nights and some really ridiculous nights (hourly wake-ups between the three of them!!) and the last few nights or so, have definitely been better. I knew it would take a little while, but I also knew it would totally pay off for everyone. The kids are getting better sleep, Hubs is getting much better sleep, and I know there will be a time in the near future that I will get to sleep “all night long” as well.

I’m feeling a real sense of achievement around it to be honest. I didn’t want the kids to feel unwelcome in our bed, and I didn’t want them to feel abandoned. But I also knew that we couldn’t keep going the way we were going, and function properly during the day. So much of parenting is about encouraging kids to be more independent, but also letting them know that you’ve got their back.

I started weaning myself off my meds around the same time as we started this exercise, and I realised that it was a really bad time to do so. I’m just not ready yet, and that’s okay. There’s no hurry. Good sleep, clear thoughts, and joyful moments are much more important at this time.

Sweet dreams everyone.

10 stupid jobs

September 4, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

Here’s what I want to get done today:

Put toilet paper away – I bought a 32 pack and it’s been sitting in the toilet for a week. Needs to be unpacked and stacked in cupboard.
Put shoes in shoe bucket at back door.
Clean the lip balm off the mirror in our room that Quinn smeared all over it ummm maybe 3 months ago.
Pick up toys in toy room.
Clean the crumbs out of the toaster.
Prepare the washing into piles to be washed.
Put away clean dishes and pack dishwasher.
Clean bathroom sink.
Take recycling down to bin.
Clear dining table for the weekend.

Can it be done!??????

Where oh where to start

September 3, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

I’ve been doing a lot of standing, staring and sighing in my house lately. There’s so much to do to make this place more liveable, but it’s hard to know where to start. Julie tells me to start at the very beginning, as it’s a very good place to start. So I headed to the kitchen, and promptly made myself a coffee. And while I was at it, I ground a bunch of coffee beans to make some more cold brew. That’s been on my list for a while. Let’s start a new list shall we? (See below)

Do you cold brew? No? Oh you must. It’s amazing! I just googled this and got the above link and learnt that the coffee should be coarsely ground. I’ll remember that for next time. So once my coffee was made, I walked around aimlessly for a while and here’s what I found:

My little man, fast asleep. He turns 9 months old this week. He’s been an outside baby as long as he was an inside baby. There goes 18 months, just like that.

The toy room. *shudder*

Remember when it looked like this a couple of months ago? I think that lasted a day or 2. Yeah. A distant memory for me too.

I’ve pretty much decided to put half of the toys away. I’m so sick of the kids emptying everything out and then moving on to the next thing because they’re overwhelmed with the volume. So let’s add that to the list as well.

And this room, that I call the Lego Room. *double shudder*

Oh. Good. Grief. This room sends my neck into spasms every time I walk into it. And then I promptly turn around and walk straight back out. We bought those blue and grey containers and started sorting out the Lego into sizes a few weeks ago. Remember?

It never got completed, and since then, Chanbe has been playing up a Lego storm which is fantastic! Except that he’s using the couch to look for pieces. Not to mention the fact that Quindy comes in and throws handfuls of pieces in the air, yelling “abraca-zebra!” That is not fantastic. “Sorting the Lego” is a huge job, and one that I see the benefit of only half the time. So we’ll add it to the list, but I’m not hopeful…

I feel I need to apologise to some of my mummy friends up here, as I’ve been adding the most mundane things to conversations lately. Like the fact that I’ve started doing the washing at night, as I can’t seem to coordinate a time that fits in with all 3 kids. So I’ll do 2 or 3 loads in the evening and try and hang them all out, and bring it all in the next day. Have I mentioned that I switched from daily washing to only twice weekly? It means a bigger job at once, but the daily washes were bringing me down.

Oh, and I bought a spray mop and I’m waiting for it to revolutionize my mopping experience, as promised. I haven’t actually used it yet, as that would require the floors to be clear of debris.

And oh dear, look at that. Now I need to apologise to you for discussing such mundane things. So now it’s 1:20pm and I need to leave in 1 hour to pick up Chanbe and then Quindy from their respective places of care. Just enough time for a nap if you ask me…

TO DO
~~Grind coffee beans~~ (woo! Look at me go!)
Put away half of the toys
Sort Lego
Mop floors
Get house clean and tidy
Keep house clean and tidy for more than 5 minutes
Look out over my balcony at the lovely view and watch those pigs fly…

“Oh I could never do that”

August 24, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

I’ve had this phrase muttered to me on more than one occasion in my adult life.

Like when I tell people we have moved 8 times in 7 years.

Or when I tell people we have three children and no family around.

And more recently, when I joined an indoor netball team with a bunch of other mums (we’re called “Mad Mamas”) whom I had never met before. I literally showed up one Monday night, and looked out for a group of ladies wearing black shirts and black pants. And two months later, I find myself at high tea with a few of them.

Life is funny like that.

And most recently, when I befriended a kiwi doctor’s wife who would only be here a couple of weeks and we’ve hung out almost every day with her and her 2 kids since. And I’m really bummed that she’s leaving on Wednesday because we absolutely just clicked. And it was no drama for us to invite them to a dinner party last night with 9 adults and 8 kids. One of my friends nearly had a heart attack when I told her how many people were coming. Yeah it took some preparation, but we had the best afternoon/evening!

Hubs and I really instill in our kids to at lease try things. This goes for food, activities… anything! And Chanbe gets so proud of himself when he says to us “I tried it Mama and I liked it!”

2 weeks ago, I tried playing GA in netball instead of GS. GA requires a lot more running, and I thought to myself “I’m too unfit for this position” but I gave it a go, and it turns out 4 months of exercising is starting to pay off!

So go on. What could you just try this week? Give something a go that you are convinced you couldn’t do and feel free to let me know how you go!

Dear Anonymous

August 18, 2015 / Renae / 4 Comments

Almost 18 months ago, someone posted a comment on this post that I wrote. Scroll down and have a read.

A few days ago, I referred to that post in this post that I wrote.

I was in fact talking about how I am an extrovert and what that actually means. I read over the comment, and my response to it, and realised that this is a post that I have been meaning to write for a long, long time.

Go and read the comment and my response. I’ll wait for you.

Done? Okay. So the thing is, Anonymous was right. I was absolutely, categorically suffering from depression. I don’t know if I just didn’t want to admit it, or I just wasn’t ready to, but a month later, I told Hubs that I think I needed help. Hubs agreed. He had noticed certain things that suggested to him that his Wifey was not quite feeling herself. And when it all came to a head one night, actually the night of this wedding, he said something to me that I’ve never forgotten:

“You’re allowed. Just because you’re depressed, it doesn’t mean you don’t like your life.”

If you know someone who has suffered from depression, or if you yourself have, then you know this to be true. I was loving my family life – my two beautiful children, baby #3 on the way, a wonderful, supportive husband, an amazing family etc etc etc. I was struggling with life in Mount Isa, but if you had asked me at any time of the day “do you like your life?” the answer would most likely have been a yes.

So why am I writing this post now? Well I got help. I went to my doctor and we both agreed that anti-depressants, as well as some counselling, would help in my circumstances. The first day I started the meds, I thought I’d made a huge mistake. The side effects were absolutely awful – dry mouth, nausea, racing heart; but after making sure everything was okay, I kept going. The first week was rough, but by the end of the second week, my body had adjusted. And a month later, I started feeling like myself again. My head was more clear, and joyful moments were more forthcoming.

It’s been a year and 2 months since I started medication. When we moved to Rocky, I wanted to come off them, but the doctor I saw here advised against it. I had just moved towns, just bought a house, just had a baby, Hubs had just started a new job. He said we should revisit it in six months.

Well, now it’s been six months, and I’m going to go and talk to him next week. I know the meds have helped me incredibly, and I’m a bit nervous about coming off them. What if I can’t “cope”? What if I backslide and don’t realise it?

There are so many “what ifs” about the situation, but I can tell you one thing; I’m in a much better place than I have been for a while. And it’s nice. So thank you, Anonymous, for bringing this to my attention. Even though it took me a little longer to realise what was going on, your observations and concern are very much appreciated.

I shall certainly let you know how I go.

Why am I sticky?

August 3, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

This was a question card that was drawn in a game of Cards Against Humanity on our family trip to Sorrento in March. The round was won by my father-in-law with an hilarious answer that’s a bit too rude to share on my little blog. I wasn’t actually in the room for that round – I was downstairs tending to the kids, but the raucous laughter that echoed down the stairs ensured that I enquired as to the source when I returned to the land of the adults.

Today I found myself muttering that question as I sat down at the table. “Why am I sticky???” And I find myself asking that question more than once a week. The answer is usually either jam or tomato sauce. But can also be any number of things. I just always hope that it is food and not something that has been dragged in on the bottom of a gumboot. Ugh. Or worse…

Anyway, today it was strawberry jam. And tomorrow? Only time will tell…

Update: yoghurt! That’s the other regular culprit…

So that just happened

July 30, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

I’m on facebook.

Oh man that hurts just a little bit. I joined to promote my marriage celebrant services, and I’m still trying to figure out what the heck I am doing. I know that It’s been so long since I’ve spent longer than 10 minutes in front of a computer, and I’m so behind on all the social media stuff, and I just need to get over myself and jump right in. And maybe get my teenage nieces to show me how to use it…

I really need a new profile photo for my business. That means Hubs and I need an hour or two together, as he’s not the point-and-shoot kind of guy. The last photo he took of me for my business cards was great.

5 years, 6 moves and 3 kids later, let’s see what magic he can weave to get this mug looking a bit more respectable 🙂

So if you’re new here, and want to know why I previously haven’t been facebooking, you can search the word “facebook” on my blog. I don’t need to go into here again. I’m hoping times have changed a little; I’m hoping I don’t encounter the privacy issues I had previously; and I’m hoping I can just have a business page and not a personal one 🙂

I’ve just spent most of the last two hours (and two coffees) stumbling around the site. I hope this isn’t a taste of things to come!

It’s different this time around

July 29, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

There has been a lot of interrupted sleep happening around here in the last couple of weeks. (Ha ha. In the last 4.5 years…) Darby-doo has had croup for the last 3 nights, and the kids have been coughing up a storm, usually in our bed. So when Darby awoke at 5:30am yesterday, barking away, and the kids were sneezing and spluttering, I accepted the fact that I really shouldn’t take them to the gym, which would mean I’d have to skip my mummy-fit session.

And I was really disappointed. I have never, and I mean ever been disappointed about missing an exercise session. I’m sorry, but it’s true. There’s always been a part of me at the back of my mind that hopes there’s a reason for me to skip a session, but not yesterday.

That’s how I know it’s different this time around. Exercise is just now a part of my life. I have found something that I love doing; that is affordable; that I look forward to; that I can share with other women; that my kids can be involved in; that is just around the corner; and the list goes on.

So when Hubs told me that he could start work late and look after the kids for me so I could still go, I didn’t hesitate for a second. Sure, I was exhausted, and it was a pretty brutal session (for me anyway!) but there’s no way I was going to miss it if I didn’t absolutely have to. I’m so fortunate to have found this class, and with a 4-week challenge coming up, there’s even more incentive!