Fit Mums – 1 year on

May 19, 2016 / Renae / 2 Comments

This is me to an absolute tee right now:

Wow. A whole year of doing regular exercise. This is definitely noteworthy for me. I’ve never stuck with anything (other than team sports) for this long. Like, ever. Sure, I’ve joined gyms; too many to count, but I’ve never actually attended them for more than a month or two. Previously when I have joined a gym, my aim is to attend six sessions a week, and once that starts dropping back to one or two a week, which it always would, I would think “what’s the point” and drop out. I now see how much of a difference those two regular sessions a week can make to my life.

I’d be lying if I said I’m exactly where I wanted to be a year on. If I was to be completely honest, I was hoping to be down another 16kg and at my “goal weight”, but the fact that I’m still showing up each week, and getting cranky when I have to skip a session, and never (seriously, never) looking for an excuse not to go, I’d say, at this stage, that is a much more important achievement. It means that I have a baseline to build on. It means that I know how it feels to be fit and strong, and I know it’s possible to continue to get fitter and stronger.

So let me break down the last 12 months for you:
73 Fit Mums sessions attended
18kg* lost
A bunch of muscle gained
Plenty of lessons learned
A dozen new friends
A newfound respect for my body
Plenty of good food eaten

Things I’ve learned:
It takes more than a month to get nice arms; (woo!)

Two sessions a week makes a huge difference to my lifestyle;
Eating two chocolate biscuits or having a glass of wine will not ruin my hard work;
Eating two chocolate biscuits and having a glass of wine almost every day will make a difference;
There’s more to it than weight loss;
Putting back on a few kilos is not the end of the world; it’s what I do about it that counts.

It’s this last point that I’m most proud of. At the end of last year, and the start of this year, old habits were creeping back, but instead of giving up and ignoring the issues, I addressed them and refocused and that has never happened before. And now that I’ve done that, I’m not starting all over again, just merely picking up where I left off.

So thank you Ben (our trainer) and Michelle and Ash (the child-carers) and all the other Fit Mums for being such an amazing and supportive community; for all the encouragement and high fives; and for being the “thing” that finally got me to love getting up in the morning and exercising. Here’s to another 73 sessions!

Here’s the first part of the journey ☺

*I’ve lost the same 2kg twice after putting on a few kg over Christmas. Still counts!

Two steps forward, one step back

February 22, 2016 / Renae / Leave a comment

Old habits are funny aren’t they? Just when you think you’ve got them licked, they slowly, subtly sneak back into your life. I created some pretty kick-arse habits last year; exercising regularly, not drinking booze during the week and only a glass of wine or 2 on weekends, not finishing off the kids meals so as not to “waste” food, only having dessert when it was a real treat; lots of positive self-talk… the list goes on.

Actually, one of the biggest things that I finally intellectualized was that the food will always always be there. I don’t have to have it all now. That was a bit of a turning point for me, and something that I haven’t been saying to myself enough in the last few months.

From the end of November until now, I have celebrated the following:
Chance’s birthday
Our wedding anniversary
Darby’s birthday
Christmas
New Years
My birthday
Quinn’s birthday
A week in Melbourne with Hubs and no kids

And so yeah, what can I say? The odd glass of wine turned into a few cold ciders on a hot summer day or a bottle of bubbly shared with Hubs; the desserts were plentiful, the dishes were rich, and the desire to consume was strong in this one.

I wouldn’t say I fell off the wagon per se, but I have noticed things creeping back into my life that I thought I wouldn’t be doing again, and because of that, pants are feeling tighter, clothes aren’t fitting as nicely, and that number that I really try not to obsess over is making me unhappy.

But. BUT. Oh there’s a but. I am aware, and I certainly haven’t a) gone back to those bad habits in any extreme way (ie I’m not reaching for food when I’m emotional) and b) I’m focusing on how far I have come and celebrating my health and being grateful for it. I’m trying not to panic which is what old me would do, and start reaching for the chocolate/ice cream/name your poison to cope. I refuse to go back to being fat and unfit. I’m not going back there. I’m so sick of starting over so this time I’m NOT quitting. I’m so pleased I have kept up the exercise through all of this – it has been such a saviour for me. I just need to add a few more days of it each week.

Losing weight and getting healthy are words we throw around daily, but it’s in that moment of holding the cake in your hand, or being offered a glass of wine on a Tuesday night, or finishing off the last bits of something so as not to waste it that can really make or break me. And I know from 2 decades of experience in trying to/succeeding to lose weight, that it’s those small decisions every day that make the difference.

When anyone starts on a weight-loss/get healthy journey, and people start noticing, I think it almost makes it harder. It’s like, you know they’re watching you now, and you want to continue with your success as it makes them so happy and proud of you! My sister-in-law made comments along those lines when we hung out over Christmas, and it’s so true.

I’m not here to make any grand statements or affirmations, but just as more of a “hello and I’m struggling a little bit with my body and my brain at the moment but that’s okay because there is a way forward.” I just have to find my sweet spot again.

Bring on the Fit Mums 6 week challenge!!

1000 words

February 11, 2016 / Renae / 1 Comment

Back to where it all began.

We’ve been in Melbourne for less than 48 hours and it feels like we never left. How is that possible? Since leaving the city almost six years ago, we have moved house seven times and had three kids. That’s a lot of life changes by anyone’s standards.

Maybe I just want to feel like I never left. This is a week of freedom for Hubs and I; to live it up and do whatever we please. We’ve been reminiscing like crazy and going to all our favourite places. Just like old times.

Moving to Melbourne was a real turning point in my life, and so much has happened because of that decision to move. Hubs broached the subject of him wanting to study down here when we first got together and I’m pretty sure my thoughts were “noooooooo! I don’t want to leave Brisbane! Nanny will be devastated!” Outwardly I would have been much cooler I’m sure.

Five months later, in May 2007, we took a trip down here “just to check it out”. Oh and Frith had his interview with Melbourne uni. After spending some time in the city, and meeting his gorgeous family down here, I was sold. I was also thinking a certain question might be popped during our visit, but he had other plans for that the following month.

A bit over a year later, at the end of a long, cold, amazingly fun trip down in the kombi, we arrived as husband and wife. And a few days later I started this blog. All of our highs and lows and in-betweens have been documented here. I never thought I would keep it up for so long but blogging is just a part of my life now. I had talked about starting a blog for months, but it wasn’t until we moved that I actually felt the urge to begin.

Melbourne changed me, and for the better I believe. It was time for me to get out on my own, with my new husband; my new family, by my side. We were a unit the two if us; in love, invincible; and in Melbourne.

The first six months were hard. I went from having social engagements every night in Brisbane, to no friends and nothing to do in Melbourne. Frith made friends easily through medicine, and while they knocked off at midday on a Friday and headed to the pub, I was working full time to support us. Resentment crept in. Jealousy tapped me on the shoulder. Feelings I never thought possible towards my shiny new, perfect husband surfaced.

For the most part I ignored those feelings; pushed them deep down and put on a smiling face. But a few too many wines would bring it all bubbling to the surface and everything would come pouring out. Once the booze wore off, and we were able to communicate like adults, Hubs would make me spill my guts. Everything. All my insecurities, my suspicions were all heard out and all reassured. We were still new at this thing called marriage. We had to work out our own path and figure out what worked for us.

Reality had set in and not all was perfect. But that’s what marriage is all about. Being perfect for each other, and doing the very best you can. Being your own person and not trying to be someone you’re not, just to please your spouse. I was trying to be everything Hubs wanted me to be, when all I had to do was to be myself. That’s who he fell in love with. The cat was well and truly out of the bag before we got married – he knew I wasn’t perfect and he loved me for it.

I just had to learn to love myself a little more. I had to figure out who I was without my family and friends around to define me. This took some time, and it turns out I’m still a work in progress. But I’ve learnt to love the process and the journey, and not just try and skip to the end result.

So as I walk around Melbourne now, dropping in on familiar places that feel like old friends, I remember Renae from 2008 and I reassure her that things are working out pretty well. I tell her that she and Hubs will never stop disagreeing on things, but that we always sort things out and get stronger. I tell her that even though she has to move around a lot, the adventures that follow make it worthwhile. I tell her to enjoy her sleep-ins and hot coffees, because once the kids come, they are the first things to go.

I tell her about the friends she will meet and the people who she will stay in touch with; it will surprise her who makes the effort to keep in contact. I tell her that she might want to stop at three children and not have four or five like they always talk about, but I know she’ll never believe me. I tell her how Hubs is a wonderful father but she already knows that.

I tell her that Nanny will never get to meet her great-granddaughter and that will upset her. A lot. Especially when her middle name is Maria, and she reminds her of Nanny everyday.

I tell her not to worry so much about what is to come; to trust Hubs more, as he always comes through with the goods. I remind her to tell Hubs everyday how much he is loved. He puts on a tough exterior, but, just like her, he needs to know.

So as I sit here staring at the bottom of another cup of coffee, waiting for Hubs to finish his GSSE, and wondering where life will take us next, I am grateful that we started our journey here in this beautiful city, full of incredible people and memories.

We’ll always have Melbourne.

My big boy

January 27, 2016 / Renae / 2 Comments

Chance started prep today. He was so keen to get into his uniform this morning. He asked me if he was the most perfect prep boy ever.

He wanted a Star Wars backpack but all the ones I found were cheap and rubbish. So Hubs and I decided to hit up the Army disposal shop in town for a black canvas backpack, then it was off to Spotlight for the fabric. And hey presto!

I also love that it’s a one-off so he’ll always know which bag is his. I think he likes it.

And the books! Oh the covering of the books! I secretly love it 🙂

Since Hubs is home on study leave, he took some time out this morning to be a part of Chance’s first day which was lovely. The kids crammed into the pram and off we went on this stinking hot morning.

We were obviously hanging around too long at drop off time, as Chance very politely requested for us to “please leave now”.

And the verdict? “It was even better than kindy!” And let me tell you, this kid LOVED kindy.

A day in the life

January 10, 2016 / Renae / 2 Comments

I didn’t plan to do this, but today I found myself whipping out my camera (read: phone) to take photos of nothing in particular and it turned into a bit of a day in the life of a (somewhat bored) stay at home mum. Enjoy!

Hard to see here but I was trying to get a photo of what Quinn dressed herself in this morning – fairy dress from Aunty Heather, brown shorts and black boots.

Then off to the Sunday markets for some fresh fruit and veges. Chance has decided lately that he is camera shy. Unlike Darby.

After that it was back home and while Darby napped, we cracked on with a bit of Lego Technic.

Things went a bit pear shaped when Darby woke up and C & Q were acting up a bit. I retreated to my bed with my baby for some cuddles and chuckles and also had a bit of a pity cry. Then it was selfie time.

See the puffy eyes? And of course Chanbe & Quinndy wanted in on the action.

I may have allowed myself a small smirk at this point and tried to turn it around. Next up was lunch and more playing, after which Darby went down for his big sleep (lucky thing) and the kids wanted to do some painting. Why not, I thought!

Then Chance all of a sudden remembered that we still had to build a model aeroplane which he gets to do whenever he sleeps in his big boy bed all night long. Let me clarify – I get to make it and he gets to play with it. The instructions assume a lot more talent than I possess but I must say I’m getting better with each one! This was today’s creation:

Impressed? He was too. It was then time to clean up the Duplo that was scattered everywhere but we ended up just playing with it for an hour. And I decorated the kids toy boxes with the day’s artwork. From this:

To this!

In the mean time, you could find Quinn walking around with her brown shorts and no top on, (“just like Dadda”) messy hair, talking on “her” phone making big business deals.

And Darby was just, you know, TAKING HIS FIRST STEPS!!!!! I did get a video of it but it goes for 2 minutes and it’s not actually that good but it was SO EXCITING! He did it for Hubs as soon as he got home from work which was lovely too.

And this is pretty much what things look like around here once Hubs gets home:

And after they have had their fill of mango, they are clearly not interested in the lovely dinner I have prepared for yet another evening and I am left wondering “why do I bother???” But then I remind myself that they filled up on mangoes and not chocolate so I get over it.

And then it may be time for stories.

The best part of the day? Has to be what’s waiting for me once the kids are in bed, asleep:

No not that! It’s this! Our neighbour makes the most amazing cheesecakes and he dropped off some leftovers.

Oooh yeah. So incredible and so needed after another “normal” day for me. I’m in a bit of a new year funk at the moment that I’m trying to shift out of. Hoping I get around to doing a few big things on my list this week. I hope you enjoyed your day 🙂

Can somebody give me an ommm?

January 7, 2016 / Renae / 2 Comments

I am getting back into yoga this year to benefit my head and my heart and I had my first beginner’s class on Tuesday night. I promised my sister in law I would go twice a week for a month to give it a really good go. I went to a restorative session tonight accidentally, thinking it was the “all levels” class. This entailed maybe 10 poses/stretches all being held for 3-5 minutes each.

A few years ago I would have been bored and annoyed that I was wasting my time and money when I could “easily do this at home for free”. (Ha!) But tonight, I embraced the peace. I’m finally starting to get it; to function at my best and wear all of my hats every day, I need to invest in me. And that doesn’t always have to mean doing something. Tonight I was still and reflective and appreciative of the calm around me.

It’s funny because, as per my blog post earlier today, I have had a lot of energy after my big sleep overnight. I got heaps done and I spent a lot of time just playing with the kids. Chance played with his (Dadda’s) Lego for around three hours today. Three! My point is, I wasn’t frazzled or stressed going into the class and I still feel like I got so much out of it.

The other thing is, I categorically know that there’s no way I would EVER put aside an hour for myself to mediate and stretch, nor would my darling children be able to leave me alone for that long. God love them.

So I’m feeling extremely indulgent at the moment, what with my two fit mum’s classes a week and now two yoga classes. Hubs assures me that he’s happy to support my outrageous lifestyle. I might hay have to cut back my latte-sipping a bit!

I feel good (da-ner-nah-ner-nah-ner-nah)

October 10, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

Well, how would you have written it?

It’s Saturday night, we’ve just had a lovely afternoon/evening at our neighbour’s place, Hubs is back there tinkering in the workshop with the man of the house, I’ve just had a wee tipple of wine, and I’ve been wondering what to blog about tonight.

Oh, and I just remembered I need to book some accommodation for Hubs’ upcoming trip to the UK. Must do that next.

So I thought I’d tell you that I feel good. Like, the best I’ve felt for a long time. Not just emotionally, but physically. And it’s all thanks to Fit Mums.

I have been attending this class religiously since May, and I could count on one hand the number of classes I’ve had to miss in that time. It has been my saviour this year and I friggin’ love it. Even though most of the hard work is around what I shove in my gob every day, this little group of mums, Ben the trainer, and Ash the child-minder, have all combined to help me feel goooooooooood.

I even bought new exercise clothes! So now I’m not working out in my maternity wear. Instead, I’m looking totally buff in this getup 🙂

Look at those clowns in the background. I’m a regular now, and the kids are just a part of the furniture. Or pilates equipment…

I know, right? I still have a long way to go, but I’m closer than I ever ever have been.

Want some comparisons? Well, this was me 6 months after Quinn’s birth (so just over two years ago), after completing my first 5km “run” with the fabulous Beth. Remember that post?

That’s a maternity top I’m wearing btw. I’m pretty much the same “size” (a.k.a. weight) that I was then, but am leaps and bounds ahead in physical strength and fitness. When I did the Couch 2 5k that time, that’s all that I was focused on, and although I’m really proud of what I achieved then, I have so much more understanding of my own body and health now than I ever have before.

Speaking of before, this was taken in April this year.

And I share this photo not to berate myself or feel bad about my appearance then. I feel no shame when I look at this photo. I’m happy. You can tell by the big smile planted on my face. I’m surrounded by my beautiful family, and I’m holding a glass of bubbly in celebration of my friend giving birth the day before, and life was good.

I’ll say it again: I feel no shame. Not then, and not now. I didn’t hate my body or how I looked. I was confident in my own skin and could find nice things to wear that made me feel good.

But I knew that my mental health and physical health would benefit from more nutritious food, and more physical activity. And that has led me to where I am now.

I just feel good. And on this Saturday night, I just wanted to share that with you all.

Oh, and I need to book that stuff for Hubs… 🙂

The fog is lifting somewhat

September 10, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

Today is the first day in a few weeks that I’ve felt more like myself. I’ve had a few days where I’ve had a sleep while the kids are sleeping (1-2 hours) and a few nights with only three wake-ups between the three kids. Actually, last night it was just Chanbe (once) and Darby-doo (twice). Quindy is sleeping through like a champ. Two weeks and three nights ago, we started gently encouraging the kids to sleep in their own beds “all night long”. Somehow, about 5 months ago, they both got into the habit of coming into our bed during the night and sleeping there for the remainder of the night. I’m not going to lie. Hubs and I were quite enjoying all the snuggle-time with the four of us in our big, warm, king-size bed. But about a month ago, it was just becoming ridiculous.

Chanbe would lie across the bed and kick Hubs half the night; Quindy would wake up at 3am and want to look at the photos on my phone; and Darby-doo was getting woken up with all the hullabaloo, and wanting to be boobed back to sleep. Of course.

So I sat them down on the Monday morning, after a particularly ridiculous night’s “sleep” and gently explained to them that it was time they started sleeping in their own beds “all night long.” I told them that if they wake up and would like a cuddle, to call out to me and I would come in to them. We talked about it a fair bit that day, and I set up some incentive milestones – for one night, they got a little surprise (I can’t even remember what it was now – maybe a piece of chocolate with morning tea???); for one week, they got a toy (Chanbe got Dusty Crophopper, fire and rescue plane and Quindy got a Peppa Pig phone) and for one month, they will get a bigger surprise (yet to be determined. Most likely Lego of some sort.)

And it has worked. The first week was really hard going, with wake ups/cuddle requests/feeding 1-2 hourly; the second week brought some good nights and some really ridiculous nights (hourly wake-ups between the three of them!!) and the last few nights or so, have definitely been better. I knew it would take a little while, but I also knew it would totally pay off for everyone. The kids are getting better sleep, Hubs is getting much better sleep, and I know there will be a time in the near future that I will get to sleep “all night long” as well.

I’m feeling a real sense of achievement around it to be honest. I didn’t want the kids to feel unwelcome in our bed, and I didn’t want them to feel abandoned. But I also knew that we couldn’t keep going the way we were going, and function properly during the day. So much of parenting is about encouraging kids to be more independent, but also letting them know that you’ve got their back.

I started weaning myself off my meds around the same time as we started this exercise, and I realised that it was a really bad time to do so. I’m just not ready yet, and that’s okay. There’s no hurry. Good sleep, clear thoughts, and joyful moments are much more important at this time.

Sweet dreams everyone.

A leisurely lady-like high tea

August 16, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

It’s fun playing ladies for an afternoon. No kids; getting frocked up, and sharing delicious food and drink with a bunch of gals. Six months ago, I didn’t know any of these ladies. Two months ago I only knew three of them, and now, thanks to joining an indoor netball team through a new friend, I know them all. So when I was invited to a high tea fund raiser with them, how could I say no?

Here’s the frock of choice for the afternoon:

It’s nice to be able to wear a dress that a) I haven’t fit into for over three years (woot!) b) doesn’t need to be “breastfeeding friendly” and c) that I can accessorize with dangly earrings instead of boobie beads.

Here is the setting:

There were close to 200 tickets sold to the event this year, and they really put on a great afternoon. And here are the ladies who made it extra fun for me:

What a good looking table we were. Lots of laughs and fun stories were shared, as well as a few glasses of bubbly. It really energised me to be honest. If you know me, or if you’ve been reading for a while, you’ll know that I’m very much an extrovert, and really need these social outings to keep me going. It makes me a better mum, a better Wifey and just a happier gal all-round.

And if you’re new here to the blog, welcome! I’ve had a few people recently tell me that they’ve just started reading which is always exciting. Stick around and enjoy the show! 🙂

On arriving home after the high tea, it was back to life as I know it. There was washing to be hung, kids and adults to be fed, dishwashers that, no matter how hard I wish, won’t unload and then re-pack themselves. I flitted about these activities with a sense of calm. Yes, it was back to it, but just with a slight spring in my step.

Oh, and because I spent the afternoon eating, I skipped dinner and went straight for the wine. And instead of doing the mountain of cleaning up in the kitchen first, I decided to say hello to you all.

Because sometimes the dishes can wait.

So that just happened

July 30, 2015 / Renae / Leave a comment

I’m on facebook.

Oh man that hurts just a little bit. I joined to promote my marriage celebrant services, and I’m still trying to figure out what the heck I am doing. I know that It’s been so long since I’ve spent longer than 10 minutes in front of a computer, and I’m so behind on all the social media stuff, and I just need to get over myself and jump right in. And maybe get my teenage nieces to show me how to use it…

I really need a new profile photo for my business. That means Hubs and I need an hour or two together, as he’s not the point-and-shoot kind of guy. The last photo he took of me for my business cards was great.

5 years, 6 moves and 3 kids later, let’s see what magic he can weave to get this mug looking a bit more respectable 🙂

So if you’re new here, and want to know why I previously haven’t been facebooking, you can search the word “facebook” on my blog. I don’t need to go into here again. I’m hoping times have changed a little; I’m hoping I don’t encounter the privacy issues I had previously; and I’m hoping I can just have a business page and not a personal one 🙂

I’ve just spent most of the last two hours (and two coffees) stumbling around the site. I hope this isn’t a taste of things to come!