Setting the scene: Hubs and Wifey are at their first antenatal appointment at the hospital, answering endless questions from the midwife about conception, family histories, health etc etc. Hubs and Wifey are trying to act like mature, future parents. Well, Wifey is at least…

Midwife: “Did you need any help getting pregnant?”
Wifey: “No I didn’t.”
Hubs: “I helped!”

Wifey and Midwife look at each other, and are left unable to speak for some time…