I really don’t know what it is right now, but I’m feeling so fidgety and restless. It could be a number of things, like this time of year is so busy for us with Chance’s birthday (tomorrow) and Darby’s birthday (7th Dec) and my Christmas cards that I’ve finished making, but haven’t started writing in. There’s cupcakes to be made and taken to school, there’s cakes, cakes and more cakes to be baked for the party, there’s gifts to be bought, then there’s the usual day-to-day, week-to-week crap to keep on top of.

There are so many “firsts without Frith” coming up in the next month, and then it will have been a year since he left. Just like that. 

I feel like I have eight things to do all the time, and I don’t know which one to start on, so I thought I’d write a blog post. I’ve found it really hard to write on the blog lately, even though there’s plenty to share. I feel like we are all limping in to the end of the year, but once the kids finish school, that’s when work needs to be done on the house, and stuff needs to be moved in!

Maybe I’m a little apprehensive about the move, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. I guess it’s just that it’s another big adjustment and I’ll need to factor in potential melt-downs and settling-in jitters from the kids for a few weeks into the new year. 

And then of course there’s New Years Day. God, really? I’ve talked about it with Chance a little bit, and I suggested we celebrate Dadda’s birthday each year, and be happy on New Years Day, and excited about what a New Year can bring for our family. I just don’t want to start every single year from now on, on such an awful, sad note, you know? I want to celebrate our time as a family of six, but also forge ahead as a party of five. 

I think this has helped; getting a few things out of my head and onto the screen. Tomorrow is a big day for my biggest boy, and I plan to make it extra special for him.