I’ve written this post in my head about 8 times in the last 2 hours, so let’s see how it pans out on screen.

Today is my first day with just me and Darby-doo. Quindy began Family Day Care yesterday for 2 days a week which is great in so many ways, and guilt-filled in a few as well. Of course. I mean, what’s parenting without guilt, right? Here she is on her first day:

I know. She looks totally miserable about going, right? Anyway, yesterday went great and today is going very well too.

But this post is about cheesecake.

So Darbs and I set off at about 9:30 this morning to grab a few winter layers for the kids from op shops. I went to 2 places (almost next door to each other – so awesome!) and got everything I needed and done by 10:30. I was on my way home and I thought I should just quickly duck in to Stockland for a couple of things. This was my first mistake. One does not simply “duck in to Stockland for a couple of things.”

I got what I needed and before I went in to Woolies to buy milk, yoghurt, cheese, spinach and bananas, I decided to grab a coffee and sit down for a few minutes. There were a few people in front of me to order, which gave me time to spy some vanilla slice in the display cabinet. My mind immediately said “NO!” because I’m trying to limit my treats and because I’ve been walking and doing couch 2 5k every day and didn’t want all that hard work to go to waste.

But I wanted something yummy. And then I saw it. Cappuccino cheesecake. It looked SO GOOD. There was still someone ahead of me. I ummed and aahhhed and thought “stuff it” and decided to get the cheesecake. I didn’t want to talk myself out of it. I just wanted to have coffee and cake and enjoy it and not feel guilty for it.

I sat down and made conversation with a mum beside me who had a 6 month old boy. 15 minutes later, my coffee came out. No biggie. I wasn’t really in a rush, and it’s nice to savour moments like these. But my cheesecake didn’t come with it. I immediately prompted the staff member and she waved in the general direction of the counter and said it would be coming.

I know this isn’t a big deal, really, but when you’ve taken 15 minutes to make a coffee, surely it’s not too hard to have the cake ready to go out at the same time. So I started my coffee and kept waiting. A few minutes passed and still no cheesecake. I was starting to get annoyed now. So I asked another staff member on her way back to the counter. She said she’d look into it but when she got there, she served someone else.

It was at this time that I was telling myself to cancel the order. “Abort abort! You don’t need the cheesecake! It’s a sign!!!!”

I was already halfway through my coffee by this stage and finally it arrived. I greedily helped myself to a big chunk of it and half way through chewing, it hit me.

Gelatin.

Why, for the love of all human kind, do people still use gelatin in cheesecakes??? It gives it such a weird jelly-like texture (funny about that). I was so disappointed. “You don’t need to eat it.” I said to myself. But by this stage my emotions were running hot and I just had to have it. I tried not to eat it all, really I did, but I just didn’t have the willpower today. Aside from the gelatin, it was quite yummy. But it wasn’t mind-blowing amazing like it had been in my head.

It’s just those small things that can make a big difference to my day. I spent the next 2 hours kicking myself and feeling stupid for giving in to such a childish craving, but I’m moving on now. I just need to remind myself of this feeling the next time I’m faced with this decision…