Category: Happiness

25 years of The Whitlams

/ Renae / 2 Comments

When I was 20 years old, my big brother allowed me to accompany him to a Whitlams gig at The Arena in Brisbane. He was a HUGE fan, and I was just getting into their music. He gave me some rules to follow (bottom line: be cool and don’t embarrass him) and I had a fantastic time. I saw them a few more times over the next few years, but not since.

About two months ago, I had a hankering. I decided that I wanted to go to a Whitlams gig. I didn’t even know if they were touring, but after a quick Google search, I found out they were on their 25 year Anniversary tour. What luck!! As the Brisbane gig had already sold out, I looked further afield. I even considered going to Melbourne, Cairns, Townsville and Albury, and making a bit of a trip of it. But since I hadn’t weaned Julius as yet (still haven’t) I didn’t want to go too far. So I booked two tickets to the Gold Coast gig at Currumbin RSL.

My friend Nathan, visiting home from the UK for a bit, was keen to come along, so we grabbed a yummy RSL dinner and joined the cue to get in around 7pm. When the supporting acts started (Deborah Conway and Alex Lloyd – both brilliant) it occurred to me that the Whitlams might not actually come on stage until 10pm!! And I was already yawning!

Anyway, we were one of the first ones in, so we positioned ourselves right at the front, near the keyboard. Thankfully they came on around 9:30pm and I did perk right up immediately!

I was rather excited when Tim and the boys came out.

The energy they still have on stage, even after 25 years is so fantastic.

Yes I was this close!!!

They played all of my favourite songs (there aren’t many that aren’t my favourite!) and it was so much fun to sing along.

Even though I didn’t get home until 1am and couldn’t sleep for a while because of the  adrenaline and the ringing in my ears, it was totally worth it!

A Grumpy Birthday

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Happy birthday to you Grumpy!

We celebrated (last Sunday!) with cheesecake, a bike ride, some model tank building, chocolate cake, and watching the Snoopy Movie together to top it all off. Not bad for a Sunday. Happy Birthday Dad. You truly are a wonderful Grumpy 🙂

Flashback Friday – Julius is ONE!

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That’s right folks. Today I’m taking you back to the delivery room! Lucky you!

I don’t think I’ve shared the kids birth stories on this blog (g-rated obviously) but there is one thing I remember about Julius’ birth that I want to share. You see, the canulas they use in maternity are HUGE needles. In Mount Isa, Frith was introduced to the practice of using a tiny bit of local anaesthetic for any canulas he put in. Many nurses/midwives/doctors would say “why would you give them two needles when you can just give them one?” The thing is, for my last two births, they missed my veins and had to try for a second time anyway. Two needles. Two HUGE needles.

For J’s birth, a midwife put the canula in, and after an hour or so my hand started throbbing. When we looked down, we saw it had tissued and was swelling up. Frith just took charge, asked for a canulation kit and some local anaesthetic, and got to work on my other hand.

I remember a wave of love for him rushed over me in that moment. He had my back. He protected me, and he got the job done with no pain. I felt fearless after that, knowing he was by my side for another birth. It also filled me with pride to be married to such an amazing doctor.

That evening, just before 6pm, we welcomed our little bundle of deliciousness into the family.

This year has been near impossible, but the joy he has brought to our lives has no limits. He is our little treasure and we can’t wait to see what the next year will bring for us all. We love you Julius xxx

A (mostly) Happy Mothers Day

/ Renae / 1 Comment

I don’t know what it is at the moment, but to be honest my kids are fighting a lot and it’s kind of driving me bananas. I’d like to say that I had a lovely day with the kids, but some of it was spent breaking up fights, putting Darby in time-out, dealing with name-calling, and trying to reason with a stubborn 5 year old.

There were, of course, moments of magic, and that’s what I will choose to focus on.

I had a rough night sleep at Aunty Liesel’s, with all the kids waking up during the night at different times, but after the older three awoke at 6:30am (sorry Josie!) Julius and I slept until after 9, so that totally counts as a sleep-in, right?? 🙂

We had a delicious breakfast of bacon and eggs and pancakes, topped off by the most delightful giggles and smiles from Julius, who has been a little under the weather, but really put on a show that had us all belly laughing. Thank God for babies.

We headed home for some “quiet time” (see above) and I requested prawn sangas for a late lunch, at which time I also had a glass of bubbly.

And gifts! Chance and Quinn chose this lovely bead to add to my bracelet

And of course the lovely mother’s day treats from school and kindy.

And this one from Darby. Hmmm…

My Mothers Day photo, 2018

Then Uncle Kristian (up for the family wedding on Saturday) and I took all but Julius down to the water front park for a play. Chance found a cardboard box, and Kristian posed the question “do you think we can slide down the grass on this?

Yes. Yes we can.

They had a great time with this activity until it was time to head home and say good bye to uncle Kristian. I made myself some prawn pasta while the kids had pumpkin soup, baked beans and vegemite toast while watching a movie.

A great end to a (mostly) lovely day.

Finding Joy

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I’m ready to laugh again.

I was at my friend’s family picnic lunch yesterday, and one thing I noticed immediately was there was so much laughter. About silly things, fun things, funny stories, banter between cousins and aunties and uncles and siblings; just so much laughter.

I wanted in on it. But it was really hard.

I still sometimes feel as though, if I’m seen to be having fun, it dishonours my grief for Frith. I feel like I’m not supposed to be having too much fun, or laughing too hard, or playing too silly with the kids.

I feel like I’m a prisoner to my grief, but it’s also mostly self-inflicted.

I still miss Frith every moment of every single day. No one denies that.

I still love Frith with my whole heart, and I ache for him. No one thinks otherwise.

I still wish with my whole heart that he hadn’t left us so young, and that the kids still had him around. Everyone knows that.

But the sadness is eating me up inside. It strips my patience and makes me constantly cranky with the kids; it has taken away my ability to laugh loudly; it denies me a light-hearted conversation about my beautiful husband, because I feel I need to inject some sadness, just so people still know I’m hurting.

You know I am. I know I am. But I’m ready to have some laughs. Frith made us laugh so hard and so often. It’s time to bring those moments of joy back to life.

Solo week away

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I’ve been trying to blog about my week away for over a week now, but I’ve been having some photo uploading issues. That and I’m addicted to The Crown. Moving on…

When the school holidays were fast approaching, I decided I really wanted to get away with the kids for a week, preferably with someone else on hand to help out. I then realised that Nanna’s 100th birthday fell on the middle Sunday of the school holidays, so if I was going to go away, it would have to be the Gold Coast. I jumped on line and found something fairly reasonably twice (reasonable after 2 glasses of wine on a Friday night if I’m being honest!) and just booked it.

So on the Friday in the middle of the school holidays, armed with my niece and brother-in-law (who drove the kombi), we set off down the coast.

I had rented a 3 bedroom townhouse on a canal in Elanora called Isle of Palms, and honestly, apart from being a bit on the small side, it was perfect. There was a lot of this:

Josie and Jacques only stayed until after the party on Sunday, and after that, it was just me and the kids, and my father-in-law 10 minutes away.

Even though I was a little apprehensive, part of me definitely wanted to know that I could do this whole “solo parenting” thing, so I went in armed with patience, loose plans, a positive attitude, and plenty of snacks, and gave it my best shot.

And you know what? We did all right. Better than all right. The place was just fantastic for the kids, and we got to spend a lot of time with “Poppy” (Frith’s Dad.) This was at our back door.

I did every evening on my own, and thanks to allowing them to watch TV every night while I put Jules to sleep, everything went really well and they were all out to it by 8:30pm each night. Which meant it was time for Commonwealth games watching with a glass of wine for me! Winning!

I was definitely exhausted by the time we were heading home, but I had booked in a sleep in for the Sunday morning, so I had that to look forward to. All in all an amazing week, and I would definitely go back to this place!

Nanna is 100

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I’ll let the photos tell the story… (mostly…)

My kids just love running around with their cousins, and their cousins are incredibly loving and generous with their time and enthusiasm. Such a gift.

Jules taking Uncle Jacques for a walk (one of many!)

Cousin love (second cousins? I don’t know. They’re all cousins to me!)
Nathan and Chance just hanging out together. This was roughly the age gap between Frith and Nathan (nephew) when they were growing up. My heart swelled watching them together.
“Quinn can I please take a photo of you?”
“Yep hang on while I get ready.”
Such a poser!

We had such a lovely afternoon, and as Darby lay asleep in my arms at around 4pm, I counted many many blessings in my life. Family, cousins in particular; all of whom came into my life, or were brought into my life, because of my love for Frith. Although he wasn’t there that day, he was never far from all of our thoughts, and he certainly brought a smile to my face and warmed my heart on a few occasions. He truly is always with us.

A happy Easter

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Gosh what a weekend. I’ll get straight to the photos.

I had a lazy start to good Friday, getting the opportunity to go back to bed for a sleep in (thanks Mum and Dad!) and not emerging until nearly 10am (woooooo!!) After a bit of coffee and colouring,

we then got set to watch the start of the Brisbane to Gladstone yacht race. From the comfort of our balcony. With snacks.

The kids got such a kick out of it!

Darby with his “noculars”

After some yummy lunch and some quiet time, we bundled the kids into the bike pram and scooters and…. headed across the road to “our beach”.

That’s mum and dad’s house up there on the far left. Next to the huge block of units.

So yeah, like I said. Our beach. Jules getting his squat on to build up those quads.

Gosh this kid loves any kind of water!!

And Quinn is never afraid to get a bit of dirt in the skirt! (or boardies in this case)

If Darby has a truck in his hand, the world is good.

And Chance always says he doesn’t want to go to the beach because he doesn’t like the salty water and sand, but once we get there, he’s right into it.

It sometimes feels like a lot of work getting the kids across the road to the beach, but it’s always worth it and they always have an amazing time.

We went for a sleepover at aunty Liesel’s house last night, which included a huge stacks-on, meat cooked on the BBQ, and a Lego hunt this morning, all of which Frith would have been proud of. Not many photos taken, as I just wanted to soak it all up.

Now there is faaaaaaar too much chocolate in the house for my lack of discipline at the moment, so I might take it upstairs for Mum and Dad to watch over. I can’t believe how much chocolate the kids put away today (okay, I can)!!

Even though I’m still finding it hard to find joy in my days, I always see it in my kids. They have fun. Every single day. I know it will come again for me, and in the mean time, I will feel snippets of it through them. They truly are gorgeous, spirited kids and I’m so blessed to call them mine.

Flashback Friday

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The night we first kissed. 25th November 2006.

I was at a work conference and I snagged him a ticket to the conference dinner. He had just arrived back from 10 days overseas the day before and insisted on coming to see me. This is where we, for want of a better phrase, finally hooked up. We hit the d-floor, a slow number came on, and he went in for the pash. Yeah, super classy. My work colleagues were very mature about the whole thing.

If he saw this outfit now he would find it hilarious. Loose shirt, no vest, and super daggy tie. And I was in love. The start of something pretty darn amazing.

A slow learner

/ Renae / 2 Comments

I had a face-palm moment this evening. I’m totally spent. I’m the most tired and exhausted I’ve been all year, and it’s been an exhausting year. I feel like I’ve been super snappy and impatient with the kids, which makes them snappy back, and the situation always escalates.

Tonight, I was just too tired to argue. Anytime they did something that frustrated me, I just honestly didn’t have the energy to react. So I kindly spoke to them, and the response has (obviously) been a much smoother evening.

I know this guys. I’m pretty sure most parents know the theory, but the practice is hard, because parenting is a tiring and monotonous job. But then I likened it to being an adult in an adult situation, and what happens when you fight with your partner.

I happened upon this blog post the other day, that I wrote about a year ago. The general gist is that I was (finally) learning that the best way to deal with conflict in marriage is with kindness. Which is really hard sometimes when another adult pisses you off, you just want to give them the finger and tell them to get stuffed. Sure, a good old fashioned fight with some yelling and huffing isn’t the worst thing from time to time, but before things escalated in an argument with Frith, and before I got defensive, I started to really try to diffuse the situation with kindness and understanding, and pretty much every time, it was a winner.

And it’s the same with kids. Only they haven’t learned the latter approach. They are still of the screaming/defiant/stomping/crying method. It’s up to me as their mum to respond with (somewhat firm) kindness. Any time I respond with yelling/annoyance/frustration/threats, things escalate and I always have a battle on my hands to bring them back down.

Tonight, as I was feeding Julius off to sleep, the three kids came downstairs, and after Chance and Quinn couldn’t find me, they went to their room and started colouring in. I was waiting for Darby to come into my room and wake Jules up by jumping on the bed to keep me company, so as he walked into the room, I greeted him with a whisper of “Hey buddy! How’s it going? Would you like to gently sit on the bed and wait for me to finish with Jules, and then we can read a story together?”

The response? A whisper of “okay Mama” before he sat down quietly on the edge of the bed. That’s when I had my ah-ha moment. Honestly it was the sweetest thing. Normally I was yell-whisper not to disturb us, and he would always, in an act of defiance, jump on the bed, while I imagined him giving me the finger and telling me to get stuffed.

It is SO hard, sometimes seemingly impossible, not to lose my cool when things reach crisis point, but I really hope I can remember this evening, and that it serves as a reminder to me that my kids are just little humans that have to be taught big life skills. And now it’s up to me to do that.

My awesome foursome