Tuesdays are generally pretty good to be honest. They always start badly though, as our cleaner comes around 9am, which means we are doing last minute tidying up before we herd the kids off to school. Every Monday evening and Tuesday morning, without fail, I regret having a cleaner. It’s so much pressure to get the house tidy, even though I try and get the kids to do a tidy up every day. There’s always stuff to be put away, and the bench needs to be cleared.
But every Tuesday at midday, I am reminded of how wonderful it is to have nice clean floors and bathrooms and kitchen, and how grateful I am that we have someone who does it for us. So grateful. Sure, I could do it myself, but without the pressure of having to do the big tidy up, I would constantly put it off. It’s just the kind of person I am. And I’m okay with that 🙂
We spent this morning at a friend’s house, where I got to enjoy two hot cups of tea (bliss!!) and a sneaky melting moment, while our boys played. Then I came to my aforementioned clean house, and just hung out with Darby and Julius while they played. It was seriously relaxing and low key.
I then went to Quinn’s class at 2pm for their celebration of learning, where parents (or grandparents/significant adults etc) can come and do an activity with their kids. It was really lovely and my kids always get a kick out of having me in their classroom. I have the same for Chance tomorrow and we’re both looking forward to it.
Yesterday was not a good day. I was unwell with a tummy bug, and I had reached my pain threshold for my shoulder, so I headed to the doctor. I have a strong anti-inflammatory that I will try for a week before I look at doing anything else. By lunch time today it was actually starting to feel a bit better, which has definitely lifted my mood. The physical pain, on top of everything else, nearly tipped me over the edge. Soooooo cranky!!
I can’t believe the kids finish term two next Friday. That is so crazy to me. It’s Frith’s birthday this Saturday which will be yet another first for us. We will be having a Lego building day with the family in his honour. I think it’s going to be all sorts of lovely and horrible, all rolled into one big day. If you believe in it, I feel a prayer or 37 would come in handy for us all this weekend.
But today was a good day, and for that I am grateful.
I just wanted to say that I’ve been reading your blog this year, admiring your writing talent and your generous sharing of raw grief and times of rich joyful living in the face of it.
I particularly resonated with this post as I experience some very similar thoughts and feelings every fortnight, and I wanted to share a couple of things on the same theme.
The first is a poem a friend wrote recently which made me reframe how I was thinking about the chaos of my own ‘living with three young boys’ home.
I’ve returned to a house that awaits quietly
Walked into the belly of its partially digested mess
But the house is without shame
For it loves the flavour of this
The chaos of our lives
The stillness is a question now
A resting between the pockets
Of mad rush and loud noise
Heavy footfalls that press
The boards which croon
As if it’s a pleasure to be
Wanted like this
A house that holds this spirit
Of our children
This time of grace
The second is a memory that was prompted by the poem. Frith and I dated very briefly about 18 years ago, as I was finishing high school. One night he was dropping me home late and everyone was asleep. As I made a cuppa, he looked around at the layers of detritus associated with several children and teacher parents and said ‘I like your home, it looks lived in’. I thought it a strange compliment at the time, but I appreciate it more as I age!
Love your work.
Thank you Sarah. Thank you for sharing those memories as well. He was certainly unforgettable ?